Bar Tuesdays: Week Four

Week Four: Sandbar

The first thing you should know about this week’s Bar Tuesday (which was actually held on Wednesday due to scheduling conflicts) is that Frito and I were chased by a raccoon at one point.

Oh yes.

But we’ll get to that – let’s start back at the beginning of the night. Sandbar!

Sandbar is 2 doors down from Groucho’s, which was our Week 1 bar. They’re both down by a beach, and Sandbar has embraced that fact. The place had a nautical theme (the bathrooms were labeled ‘Sharks’ and ‘Mermaids’), complete with a bar full of un-cushioned lounge chairs:

And an outside deck area with a volleyball net:

The best part about the back deck area? See that small building on the right? Someone lives there. Seriously, that is someone’s house. Check out the number on the front:

The front door opens right onto the back deck of Sandbar. Who would…but what…why…? My head hurts.

Anyway, since Sandbar is down by the water, the place is really designed to be a summer hangout, even if it is open year round. The front of the place has two garage doors in front that are always open, and the sliding doors on the back side were all open, letting in the sea breeze that was happening last night. However, there are also about 40 ceiling fans in the small room, so it’s very breezy in there. This would normally not be an issue, except for the fact that the place was full of these little fluffs of white stuff floating around in the air all over the place. I noticed them as soon as I walked in, and they danced around my head and feet all night. We were all shielding our drinks from them, which gave one the opportunity to land in Kristin’s hair instead. They looked just like the dandelion seed weeds. You know those cotton-looking things? At one point, I went to another part of the bar and found the motherlode of them gathered under a table:

All of the rest of them must have been making their way back home to that pile. Poor white fuzzy things.

Although the Sandbar was clean other than the white things, we still weren’t up for trying anything on the small menu, even though Frito offered money to the person who would order and eat the “fish tots.” Randy and Kristin were hungry, so they headed next door to a famous local food stand that specializes in seafood snacks and fried dough. Randy is up here for the summer from Louisiana, so he’s still a little green when it comes to New England things. For example, he’s never eaten chowder. Or clam cakes. Or stuffies (stuffed quahogs). Or doughboys, for that matter. Kristin was horrified by this, so she took him over to try some of the delights that the place next door is famous for. And what did Randy come back with? Would he try the famous clam cakes? Opt for the famous New England clam chowder?

No. He got the grilled cheese, or as Kenny called it, “The one thing on the menu that place isn’t famous for!” Randy said he was afraid to get the other stuff in case he didn’t like it, which I can understand since I’m a picky eater, too (and don’t like seafood, so I would only be getting the fried dough myself). Kristin let him try some of her chowder afterwards and he admitted that he really liked it, so perhaps he’ll be more adventurous next time.

Okay, back to business – let’s get the regular features out of the way before I forget. Golden Tee Count: 3 out of 4. Sandbar did NOT have a Golden Tee, which was surprising considering that instead it had a crane game:

Jukebox Report: Old school CD jukebox (non-digital) full of mostly rock and greatest hits collections, with a few random oldies, disco and dance CDs thrown in. I may have played We Built This City and Daydream Believer (the Monkees version). I also think we broke the regulars with some of our selections (PAUL, who played a lot of Britney and Destiny’s Child) because after my selections were done, new ones started up without anyone having played them. Methinks the bartenders rigged it somehow and played what they wanted to hear, which was a lot of Motley Crue. Frito had played some songs right after me, but they didn’t come on. We left before his started, but it’s okay because he Loafed* them with his last selections. (*To Loaf: to play all of the longest Meatloaf songs all in succession right before you leave an establishment, leaving everyone inside to suffer.) He played the entire Bat Out Of Hell album, as a matter of fact. Awesome.

Bathroom report: The ladies room (sorry, Mermaid’s room) was really nice and clean, and had an extra bonus – when I sat down to pee, I found out that the toilets were sporting cushioned seats! Swanky! The men’s (shark’s) room did not fare quite as well – Paul went in there to, well, as he said, “Take a Sandbar shit,” only to find that the stall that would be used for such things didn’t have a door. And the main men’s room door didn’t lock, so Paul was denied his Sandbar shit. We tried to coax him into doing it anyway in the hopes that someone would walk in on him, but he wouldn’t do it. Hey, the place was kind of nice for a dive bar, we had to class it up somehow. I believe we are what is called in some parts “Classy with a ‘K’.” I mean, we had already contributed earlier in the evening by having a 15 minute conversation about vaginas. (And Hanson, which Paul was complaining about, but hey – I had just discovered that Kristin was a fellow Hanson fan, so we had to discuss. They’re coming back to the area for a show in July, so I have to start working out in case I get violent like last time.)

Anyhoo, the place was kind of dead last night, so when it got down to there being two other people besides us in the place, we decided to check to see if Groucho’s had karaoke so we could liven up the festivities a little. Frito and I decided to walk over and check it out. There is only one house between the two bars, so it was a short walk. We saw a big DJ/karaoke booth set up, so we headed back to round up the troops. This is when Frito yelled out, “There’s a raccoon behind us!” I didn’t believe him so I turned around and saw what looked like a large cat slink behind a car on the street. When it came out the other side onto the sidewalk behind us, I realized that it was, in fact, a raccoon. And it was coming right towards us. So what did I do? I threw my hands up in the air and ran. However, being so close, I only had to run about 5 feet before I was inside Sandbar. Then I remembered that all of the front doors of the bar were open, so what was to stop the raccoon from coming in and attacking me? Maybe he just wanted to play. Thankfully, Frito saw him take off into the yard of the house that is between the bars, so it was all good. When we all headed back over to Groucho’s a few minutes later, I was on guard, but he didn’t make an appearance. Of course, when I was leaving later that night, I realized that my car was parked right next to the yard of the raccoon house and I had visions of it jumping into my car all Harold & Kumar style and then it would be chattering in the backseat before popping up and biting me on the neck. Then I’d have to go to the hospital to have it checked and end up having to perform surgery on a guy with a bullet-wound while Ryan Reynolds wiped the sweat from my brow. Okay, maybe not that last part. In any event, the raccoon thankfully did not get in my car so there were no attacks on the way home. (Probably because I jumped in my car faster than lightning after Frito spooked me by thinking a box next to my car was a moving animal.)

It was nice to go back to Groucho’s, even though there were no carnies there this time. (Oh, Mike – I miss you.) Most of the Bar Tuesday folks hadn’t been there yet, so they enjoyed experiencing it. We warned the guys about the steel trough in the bathroom. However, Paul reported that the soap that had the weird sliver of something red in it wasn’t there anymore, and instead there was NO SOAP in the bathroom. Clean! There were a lot more people there this time, so we got to mingle with some of the regulars, including the awesome female “Lovable Local” who dubbed us her new Wednesday night friends. She was also wearing acid wash jeans that had holes all the way up the legs with bows separating them. And a shirt with the mudflap girl silhouette on it. We loved her immediately. A great end to a fun night.

Next week: We go back to Tuesdays and return to the former home of Sh-Na-Na’s, the place that Frito, Lucy and I closed down after our night of singing ridiculous karaoke songs. Can we close another place down? Wait and see!

Comments

[Jessica]

re: "Or stuffies (stuffed quahogs)"

I love that your clarifying parenthetical only confused me MORE. Still west coaster that I am! :)

[christa]

what the! OH THE LOVE OF GOOGLE!! looking for acid wash and happened upon this amazing dreamland of words and visuals... oh my!

MUCH love. i'll be back again and again.
christa

[christa]

what the! OH THE LOVE OF GOOGLE!! looking for acid wash and happened upon this amazing dreamland of words and visuals... oh my!

MUCH love. i'll be back again and again.
christa