Bar Tuesdays: Week Three

Week Three: Track 84

Bar Tuesday ended up happening in two places last night. We were slated to go to a bar that we all started to hear was nice, so we were concerned about its dive bar eligibility. However, the schedule must be adhered to, so we checked it out anyway. As soon as we walked in the door, I just said, “Nope.” The bar was REALLY nice. And, as someone pointed out, “This place has a MENU!” Menus are frowned upon unless it’s a beer menu. When Frito pointed out the even worse fact that the menu included fried calamari, we knew the establishment was too nice for our Bar Tuesday trashy tastes. We stayed for one drink as we waited for the others to arrive and figure out what to do next. We couldn't stay in a place that had leather booths and was spotless. Boring! (Of course, there was a Golden Tee.) Fortunately, I had seen one of my cousins earlier last night who told me about another bar down the street that wasn’t on the list. Paul and Lauren had never heard of it, so Frito and I said we would take a quick ride over to check out its validity and then report back. Randy came along with us, so we headed down the street to where the bar was. It was at the end of a dead end street right on the side of some railroad tracks. I walked up onto the porch, took one look inside and said, “Yep.” We called Paul and said, “There are peanut shells on the floor.” His response? “We’ll be right there.” My friend Kevin called me a few minutes later to ask if it was a good place to come and I told him that there was a barber’s chair and a barrel full of peanuts. “I’m leaving right now,” is all he said. When Paul walked in the door, he exclaimed, “Now this is what Bar Tuesdays are all about.” Indeed. Behold, Track 84:

The place was fantastic. Dusty wooden floors covered in peanut shells, the aforementioned barber chair, a pool table that tended to attract beetles (“Hey, what is that over near the side pocket?” “Oh, just your friendly neighborhood beetle.”), and two tables where all of the fabric seats had water stains all over them. Most of us opted for the wooden bar stools last night. It was so much fun, though. The people were nice, the bartender was terrific, and the drinks were cheap. We paid the same price for 2 beers and 1 soda as we paid for one drink at the first bar. No thanks, first bar. We like Track 84, where the drinks are good and cheap, beetles come to play pool, and we can sit in a barber chair if we like:

That was the first thing Randy did when he arrived.

Jukebox report: Digital, varied selection, but mostly rock and greatest hits collections. It was extra to download other songs not on the jukebox, so I opted for all of the songs available for one credit. I may have subjected people to Private Dancer. In my defense, you can’t see Tina Turner’s Greatest Hits on there and NOT play Private Dancer. The song rules.

Golden Tee Count, Week 3: 3 for 3, baby. (4, if you count the first bar we bailed on, but we’re not counting that one.)

This bar had something better than Golden Tee and the jukebox, though – it had Big Buck Hunter. Aww yeah:

Frito started the Big Buck Hunting, bagging 7 deer. Lauren and Paul followed up, with Lauren kicking some ass:

Kristin was just happy enjoying her peanuts.

And like I said, there were plenty to go around:

Here’s what our table looked like by the end of the night:

I felt bad sweeping them on the floor, but that’s what the bartender was doing all night. When in Rome, I guess.

We’re also back to trying to find the “Lovable Local” in each bar, or pretty much just the bar regular. We had questioned this after the carny incident, but Kevin and Paul encountered Jim last night, and that changed things. Well, briefly at least. When Paul arrived, Kevin was at the bar talking to this older man who was rocking a stache. Paul asked me if Kevin knew him, but I didn’t know. After Kevin stayed there talking to him, we all figured he did and went about our business. 20 minutes later, Kevin shows up at our table and said, “Why didn’t anyone save me??!! I just listened to the most depressing story I’ve ever heard in my life.” This, of course, was all Paul needed to get up and head on over. “Don’t do it!” Kevin called after him, but he was already standing behind Jim, trying to make his move and get in there. Five minutes later, Paul and Jim are laughing up a storm and calling people over. When I got the call, Jim asked if I had ever heard of the Toxic Avenger. Apparently, most of the youngins I was with had not. How is that possible? Dan and I were both all, “Of course, Troma films!” Jim loved us immediately. However, it all went downhill a few minutes later when I came back over to ask Paul something and Jim pointed to me and said, “Now this one…this one has the look. She could star in a remake of….” And then he went and did it: “The Shining.” Frito and Kevin both said in unison, “Oh, shit.” Me? I just said nothing, turned and walked away. As I was going I heard Jim saying, “She has a much better face than that one with the teeth,” but he was already dead to me. Not the Duvall, Jim. Never the Duvall. Later, I heard that one of the girls told Jim that people tell her she looks like Jennifer Love Hewitt and he responded, “No, you’re not that ugly.” He then told another that she looked like Linda Blair. Jim was no longer the Lovable Local, obviously.

After The Duvall, I returned back to our pool game, where Dan and I were engaged in a wager with Bryan and Courtney. I came up with the wager, which was that whichever team lost had to dance to whatever song came on the jukebox next after the loss, and it had to be the full song. Thankfully, we won, so Bryan and Courtney had to dance amidst the peanut shells. Unfortunately, the humiliation wasn’t too bad as they lucked out with a slow song when Alone by Heart started up. But then Paul stepped up to help out by serenading them during the song as they did their best patented 7th grade slow dance, all stiff arms on shoulders and waists, standing as far away from each other as possible. New Bar Tuesday fun? Video clips! Here’s a taste of the shenanigans:

Those poor other patrons. I so love Paul’s enthusiasm when he sings.

Finally, what would a Bar Tuesday report be without a bathroom report? According to the boys, the men’s room was fine, but I did find a slight issue with the women’s bathroom. I went in there right when we got there and it was just a one-person room, not dirty or anything – it had nice pictures on the walls, it was all fine until I noticed something peculiar: You can’t reach the toilet paper dispenser from the toilet. It was a good thing I realized this before I did anything, but I feel bad for the girls who don’t. There is a hand rail on the wall next to the toilet and there is nothing on the other side. Instead, the toilet paper dispenser is on the wall in front of the hand rail, and when I sat down and stretched out my arm, the paper was a full 8 inches away. And I have creepily long arms! I tried to take a picture, but it makes it look closer than it really is:

Really, it’s not that close. Weird!

So that’s the Track 84 report, and so far it’s my favorite. We just had a great time there and everyone wants to go back again soon. We’ll try and top it next week, but it’s going to be hard. I mean, a barber chair - come on now.

Comments

[Kristin B]

Hey Pam! Paul gave me your blog address. I loveee the week 3 entry and if you want I will be happy to send you the picture I scored of Paul and Jim. Yup thats right I have a picture of him

[Heidi]

What a fun time! I miss hanging out at the bar in those bar stools! Our favorite hang out closed down though! :(

[Steve Sharp]

Hey Pam,
I am a bartender at Track 84, if this were bar Thursdays you would have run into me. All of us at the Track refer to him as Big Fat Jim, this might bring back some fond memories.
http://www.t-mobilepictures.com/photos/photo17/11/c2/734f275c7fdb.jpg?_rh=161jmmc1bm4chji3t3u1bofzh

[Art]

Gotta love the classic bar with it's classic furniture! like the bar stools and wood floors!