Bar Tuesdays: Bonus Bar One

We may have been to one of the greatest dive bars EVER last night. EVER.

We decided to add a Bonus Bar into this week, as Randy's boyfriend is in town visiting and he wanted to expose him to the wonder and magic that is Bar Tuesday. Also, we heard about a bar after the list had been made, so we made it an unofficial bonus night last night. (The Bar Tuesday rules are clear about the 14 weeks, 14 bars thing - there is a list and an order to adhere to.) Since we have such a good time doing the dive bar tour, we've decided to throw in some bonus nights here and there on other nights of the week, and on those nights we can venture to any bar we like in the state (all of the Official Bar Tuesday bars are in our city). Last night we ended up at one in our city, but it was one that none of us really knew about since almost anyone who would see it would think it was just a house (or a re-modeled church):

Behold Ye Olde Boulevard.

The only signs for it are painted on the door like that, so it's not very well-known around town. And now that we've been there, I don't know if we really want to advertise how awesome it is because we want it all for ourselves. After all, the sign inside said the capacity was not to exceed 49 people, so we don't want it to become a mob scene and then we can't get in. David wanted to go back tonight, and Kristin and Paul may go back tomorrow. Frito thinks it should be the bar we go to as our Grand Finale when our 14 weeks are up, because it was just that fantastic. It houses Norma, one of the best bartenders on the planet, plus super-friendly regulars (Holla, Sandy!) including one guy who they lovingly referred to as "Space Case" and another guy who looked like George Carlin and claimed that his real name was Joe Kool. Oh, and Mr. Kool was wearing a button-down shirt that had the picture of the dogs playing poker as the bottom border of it. I think Frito wanted to kidnap him. The drinks were also cheap and strong, and there were snacks, which came in handy for me since I knocked back two stronger-than-Pam-is-used-to drinks and didn't turn into our old pal Tipsy Girl. Thank you, 50 cent bag of Doritos!

Speaking of snacks, Kristin and David both dared to try the advertised (on a styrofoam plate on the wall) corn dogs. Corn dogs! In a bar! And they ate them! Boy, did they ever:

They both said the dogs were delicious, and Kristin said later that she wanted to order a second one but didn't want to look like a freak. Maybe it's because one of the regulars just kept saying, "I've never seen anyone eat anything here!"

I think we were the cause of many rare events at Ye Olde Boulevard, as Paul and Michelle indulged in one of the first delights that I saw when we walked in:

Boxed wine. (That's Paul's "$2.00 boxed wine snooty face.")

There was a refrigerated cabinet staring right at you when you walked in the bar, with 4 different boxes of wine, spigots ready to go. Michelle even had more than one glass. Norma The Awesome Bartender was laughing at them, saying, "You chose a good year. 2007, nice and aged and full." Norma rules.

You know, it's hard to even describe how awesome this bar was, because it had so many different great things going on. Usually at a dive bar you can find one or two things that make it great, like carnies or peanuts on the floor. But this place was just made up entirely of great things, such as: the aforementioned boxed wine, a spot where Frito was sinking into the floor, an El Camino emblem on the wall, a notice on the Boulevard Bulletin Board about pap smears, metal folding chairs around the card tables on the upper level, and reading material (just to name a few). There was a newspaper on one table that Paul sat down and perused, but that was nothing compared to the book/magazine/phone book table:

Every bar should have that. So awesome. (Also, someone at The Boulevard likes Mary Higgins Clark.)

Here's a view from the upper level, where there was also a jukebox, the card tables, and a deer head on the wall. Oh, but not just any deer head:

One with a necktie and silly glasses. (Frito: That deer has two faces!)

Oh, and the upstairs area was also home to my personal favorite part of Ye Olde Boulevard: 3 church pews against the walls:

I wanted to sit in those pews all night, but the lure of the bar below and all it held were too strong. After all, you had to be down by the bar to hear the quote of the night, courtesy of Norma The Awesome Bartender. Two people went outside together and when Norma asked if they were leaving, Frito told her that they were probably just going to make out in the car. (First Official Bar Tuesday venue makeout alert! Also? Space Case may have been spying on it. We don't know what he was doing outside.) Norma said that she hoped they didn't go near the house next door because the owner lived there. Then, the quote: "Don't make love by the neighbor's gate - love is blind, but the neighbors ain't." (When I talked to Paul earlier, he said that he had already warned three people about that today.) Awesome. I can't wait to go back.

Ye Olde Boulevard? My new favorite dive bar.

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Jukebox Report: Mostly older, classic rock with some random compilations and Now! CDs thrown in, plus the Greatest Hits of Cat Stevens. But no Journey (!) so we couldn't play our unofficial Bar Tuesday tune (Don't Stop Believin' had been following us from bar-to-bar now. Damn Sopranos! Although it's a great song.). I did, however, get to play Step By Step by New Kids on the Block, a song that should be in every jukebox in every bar across the land. Let's make a law. And Frito played Rocky The Raccoon, baffling me when I questioned him about it and he announced, "I love this song!" Who knew?

No Golden Tee, but it doesn't count since it was an unofficial stop anyway. But who needs a Golden Tee when you have church pews? I mean, come on.