This week we ventured back to one of our favorite Season One bars, the ol’ Bottom Line, aka “Roadhouse.”
Happily, it still held up as a fantastic dive bar, with ridiculously cheap and strong drinks. Vodka tonics that were mostly vodka? $3. Towards the end of the night, the bartender had run out of regular-sized glasses so some of us ended up with even larger drinks for the same price. Oh, Bottom Line – you rule in so many ways. One of which may be the inclusion of a certain item on your food menu:
I am SO curious and yet terrified to know what exactly a chicken figure is. Or this “becon” that is being served on the chicken filet sandwich. Sadly, the kitchen is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, so we weren’t able to find out the answers to such mysteries. I think that’s best. Instead, the bartender came over at one point with a takeout menu to the classy Season One bar down the street and offered to get us something since she was ordering in. Brent took advantage of the offer and got himself some potato skins.
3 hours later, a drunken Paul finished off the last one:
Ew.
Anyway, the rest of the bar was just as great as we remembered. There were curious trophies:
I really hope those are for pool-playing.
And this awesome chair, in front of an even better sign warning people away from the evils of nasty local Narragansett beer:
Why would you even keep that chair in the bar? Trash that! Maybe the chair is secretly worth a lot of money, which would explain the security cameras we saw all over the place:
There were at least 4 of them that we could see. The big question from all of us was, “For what?” Perhaps Manda’s treats – she has become quite the popular lady recently whenever we see her come in carrying a bag of goodies. First it was cookies, then strawberry nut bread, and this week it was banana bread. Ryan was such a fan of her strawberry nut bread last week that as soon as he heard the word “bread,” he wheeled around to see what was being offered this time:
Bread? What??
Paul was eating his heart out, which may not have been a good thing since he announced as soon as we got there that he had to “take a Bottom Line shit.” However, if you checked out the recap from last year, you will see how nasty the men’s bathroom is there, and this time it was no different. Paul actually went in there and came right back out, saying that it was too gross in there for him to even do it. Now people – Paul will shit pretty much ANYWHERE. For him to say it is too gross for him to do his thing is pretty bad. He actually considered just going outside in the surrounding woods. That bathroom has got to be pretty bad. (His second choice was the dumpster, which he got into for the photo shoot, but we all begged him not to, so he didn’t. He actually ended up having to brave the bathroom later and Brent couldn’t get out of there fast enough as he was caught peeing at the time. “Bad things are happening in there.” HA! And Paul, we love you - just please stop farting in my car.)
On the other side of things, Manda and I can attest to the fact that the ladies room seems to be no better. This is the place where I almost fell through the floor last year. It smells like mothballs so bad in there, and there are missing tiles and random pieces of wood nailed up all over the place:
Oh yes, and then there was the matter of the DEAD FLY on top of one of the toilets:
As awesome as the Bottom Line is in every other way, it still has the nastiest bathrooms we have experienced at any of the bars we have been to. Happily, it still has an awesome jukebox:
I don’t know who was using it before me, but I ended up with about 11 credits more than I should have had, so we may have gone a little nuts with out selections. I started with Daybreak by Barry Manilow just because I thought it was awesome that a jukebox in a bar like that would have Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits album on it. I chose that particular song in honor of one of the greatest movies ever made, Serial Mom. Of course, when it actually started playing, even I was embarrassed by my selection. But it was the first one I played, so I just blamed it on the person before me. It was that person’s last song, I swear. Of course, I was embarrassed by that, but not this one?
I don’t want to say who was responsible for that selection, but it may have been one of these people:
Probably both. Surprisingly, The Chipmunk Song went over quite well. Many people were singing along. That Alvin – he brings people together. And we totally need to play more Christmas music when we go to the bars. Of course, we did play some regular songs as well. My Humps even got some of us up and showing off our finest “ridiculous look-at-me-being-all-grindy” dance faces:
But most of the time, we stayed in our seats and just enjoyed the tunes, the cheap drinks, and hanging out with each other:
The birthday boys of this weekend!
Of course, we did venture out of our seats for more than just the bathroom and the dancing. There was the matter of this week’s photo shoot. At first, we thought that there wasn’t going to be one because there isn’t much outside the front of the bar. It’s in the middle of a neighborhood down a residential street, so the only thing around the front of it and next door are woods and a house. But THEN – oh, but then Manda and Paul ventured out to the back smoker’s patio and Manda came back in to inform me that there was a wheelchair in the back. That’s all I needed to hear to get me out of my seat.
The back patio had enough great stuff, but then we went out into the backyard and hit the photo shoot jackpot. Horseshoe pits, TWO old shacks, piles of logs, etc. It was like magic. Click here to see the whole photo shoot in all of its glory (with some added bathroom shots at the end that Manda and I grabbed for as long as we could stand it in there. She was quite sad to find a tiny plunger in there.). Here’s a little sampling of what’s in there to whet your appetite:
Quote of the photo shoot: DAVID: “Hurry up and pose, it smells like piss out here.” True story. Oh, and the answer to this week's "What non-sexy item is Pam straddling?" = a horseshoe stake.
Paul’s favorite discovery of the night may have been that old wheelchair, because later on after most of us had left, he decided to bring it into the bar and spend the rest of the night in it. Manda sent me these pictures the next morning:
They ended up staying until close and Manda told me that when they were in the parking lot, a drunken patron rode up on his bike to marvel at the fact that Paul was up and walking around. It’s a miracle!!! Then he rambled on to them for a while before kicking up some dust and riding away on his ten-speed.
I know I’ve said this before, but the Bottom Line RULES.
Happily, it still held up as a fantastic dive bar, with ridiculously cheap and strong drinks. Vodka tonics that were mostly vodka? $3. Towards the end of the night, the bartender had run out of regular-sized glasses so some of us ended up with even larger drinks for the same price. Oh, Bottom Line – you rule in so many ways. One of which may be the inclusion of a certain item on your food menu:
I am SO curious and yet terrified to know what exactly a chicken figure is. Or this “becon” that is being served on the chicken filet sandwich. Sadly, the kitchen is closed on Mondays and Tuesdays, so we weren’t able to find out the answers to such mysteries. I think that’s best. Instead, the bartender came over at one point with a takeout menu to the classy Season One bar down the street and offered to get us something since she was ordering in. Brent took advantage of the offer and got himself some potato skins.
3 hours later, a drunken Paul finished off the last one:
Ew.
Anyway, the rest of the bar was just as great as we remembered. There were curious trophies:
I really hope those are for pool-playing.
And this awesome chair, in front of an even better sign warning people away from the evils of nasty local Narragansett beer:
Why would you even keep that chair in the bar? Trash that! Maybe the chair is secretly worth a lot of money, which would explain the security cameras we saw all over the place:
There were at least 4 of them that we could see. The big question from all of us was, “For what?” Perhaps Manda’s treats – she has become quite the popular lady recently whenever we see her come in carrying a bag of goodies. First it was cookies, then strawberry nut bread, and this week it was banana bread. Ryan was such a fan of her strawberry nut bread last week that as soon as he heard the word “bread,” he wheeled around to see what was being offered this time:
Bread? What??
Paul was eating his heart out, which may not have been a good thing since he announced as soon as we got there that he had to “take a Bottom Line shit.” However, if you checked out the recap from last year, you will see how nasty the men’s bathroom is there, and this time it was no different. Paul actually went in there and came right back out, saying that it was too gross in there for him to even do it. Now people – Paul will shit pretty much ANYWHERE. For him to say it is too gross for him to do his thing is pretty bad. He actually considered just going outside in the surrounding woods. That bathroom has got to be pretty bad. (His second choice was the dumpster, which he got into for the photo shoot, but we all begged him not to, so he didn’t. He actually ended up having to brave the bathroom later and Brent couldn’t get out of there fast enough as he was caught peeing at the time. “Bad things are happening in there.” HA! And Paul, we love you - just please stop farting in my car.)
On the other side of things, Manda and I can attest to the fact that the ladies room seems to be no better. This is the place where I almost fell through the floor last year. It smells like mothballs so bad in there, and there are missing tiles and random pieces of wood nailed up all over the place:
Oh yes, and then there was the matter of the DEAD FLY on top of one of the toilets:
As awesome as the Bottom Line is in every other way, it still has the nastiest bathrooms we have experienced at any of the bars we have been to. Happily, it still has an awesome jukebox:
I don’t know who was using it before me, but I ended up with about 11 credits more than I should have had, so we may have gone a little nuts with out selections. I started with Daybreak by Barry Manilow just because I thought it was awesome that a jukebox in a bar like that would have Barry Manilow’s Greatest Hits album on it. I chose that particular song in honor of one of the greatest movies ever made, Serial Mom. Of course, when it actually started playing, even I was embarrassed by my selection. But it was the first one I played, so I just blamed it on the person before me. It was that person’s last song, I swear. Of course, I was embarrassed by that, but not this one?
I don’t want to say who was responsible for that selection, but it may have been one of these people:
Probably both. Surprisingly, The Chipmunk Song went over quite well. Many people were singing along. That Alvin – he brings people together. And we totally need to play more Christmas music when we go to the bars. Of course, we did play some regular songs as well. My Humps even got some of us up and showing off our finest “ridiculous look-at-me-being-all-grindy” dance faces:
But most of the time, we stayed in our seats and just enjoyed the tunes, the cheap drinks, and hanging out with each other:
The birthday boys of this weekend!
Of course, we did venture out of our seats for more than just the bathroom and the dancing. There was the matter of this week’s photo shoot. At first, we thought that there wasn’t going to be one because there isn’t much outside the front of the bar. It’s in the middle of a neighborhood down a residential street, so the only thing around the front of it and next door are woods and a house. But THEN – oh, but then Manda and Paul ventured out to the back smoker’s patio and Manda came back in to inform me that there was a wheelchair in the back. That’s all I needed to hear to get me out of my seat.
The back patio had enough great stuff, but then we went out into the backyard and hit the photo shoot jackpot. Horseshoe pits, TWO old shacks, piles of logs, etc. It was like magic. Click here to see the whole photo shoot in all of its glory (with some added bathroom shots at the end that Manda and I grabbed for as long as we could stand it in there. She was quite sad to find a tiny plunger in there.). Here’s a little sampling of what’s in there to whet your appetite:
Quote of the photo shoot: DAVID: “Hurry up and pose, it smells like piss out here.” True story. Oh, and the answer to this week's "What non-sexy item is Pam straddling?" = a horseshoe stake.
Paul’s favorite discovery of the night may have been that old wheelchair, because later on after most of us had left, he decided to bring it into the bar and spend the rest of the night in it. Manda sent me these pictures the next morning:
They ended up staying until close and Manda told me that when they were in the parking lot, a drunken patron rode up on his bike to marvel at the fact that Paul was up and walking around. It’s a miracle!!! Then he rambled on to them for a while before kicking up some dust and riding away on his ten-speed.
I know I’ve said this before, but the Bottom Line RULES.
trophy pic= camera pic?
Posted by: oregoncoastgirl | August 28, 2008 at 04:05 PM
Fixed - thanks!
Posted by: Pam | August 28, 2008 at 04:56 PM
That old shack out back looks suspiciously like an outhouse. Maybe that's where Paul was supposed to take a shit.
Posted by: Randommuse (remember?) | August 28, 2008 at 09:27 PM