Welcome, welcome. My, it's been a while since we've done an awards show together. Was it the Oscars? I believe so. Let's see if I can get back into the swing of things here.
So - MTV Movie Awards, aka the MTV Awards show where I actually know who almost all of the presenters and performers are. Will it be fun? Will Andy Samberg break out a laser cat? Will they ever be able to top the Lifetime Achievement Award given to Chewbacca years ago? For those of you keeping track at home, the answers to those questions are: maybe, possibly, and God no, are you kidding me? That Chewbacca thing was the greatest.
Hey, remember when Courtney Cox hosted this and she played the drums at the beginning? Am I making that up? I think that happened. Good Lord, I'm already loopy and this thing hasn't even started. Let's do this bitch - two hours with updates every ten minutes or so. Comment along with me if you'd like! And in the spirit of the subject of the awards...ACTION!
- Oh God, the screaming for Twilight has already begun and we're only a minute in. I'm already thinking of taking back what I said about this maybe being fun. That is going to win everything it's up for isn't it? Have I discussed Twilight here before? I don't think I have. Here's the thing - I haven't read the books, so I'm not as well-versed in the Twilight thing as people are. The only thing I know about it is from seeing the movie opening weekend and I hated it. I was bored, bored, bored. Jasper was hot, though. So just know that going forward. Anytime they win shit, I'm most likely rolling my eyes. Carrying on!
- Is the target audience for this show going to get this reference to The Reader? I kind of feel like young kids shouldn't see that movie for fear of them being scarred by shot after shot of Kate Winslet's creepy nips.
- Thank God Paul isn't over while Andy Samberg is telling them it's okay to fart tonight.
- MMMM, Zac Efron - maybe this won't be that bad.
- Ashley Tisdale's shoes are AMAZING. Sharpay would be so proud.
- Megan Fox is hot and all, but that hair! It looks like she just walked out of the shower. Girl, come on now. Nice Louboutins, though. Am I all about the shoes tonight or what? And say what you will, but I am very excited for the new Transformers movie.
- Am I the only one who feels like The Dark Knight happened so long ago?
- Shia kind of looks like he's going to rape someone. Sketchy.
- Poor Robert Pattinson getting screamed at everywhere he goes. You'll always be Cedric to me, Robby Boy.
- Do I really have to recap Eminem? Nah.
- Keyboard solo, J.J. Abrams! Nice.
- If Edward Cullen doesn't win breakthrough performance, I'll...eat my hat? Do people still say that? No matter, he won anyway.
- Bruno - Sasha Baron Cohen has a death wish doing that to Eminem. Oh lordy.
- Efron! Yum. What? He's 21 now.
- I enjoy the Ryan Reynolds. That's all.
- More people should have seen Wanted - that movie was fun.
- Loving the Andy Samberg song montage. Who knew Leann Rimes had it in her?
- Hayden, oh no. No. No rapping.
- Following the WTF Award, WTF is Leighton Meester wearing? Girl, take some tips from Blair.
- Miley is so annoying. Get away. ("IT"S MILEY!!)
- Commercials: Dear Danny McBride - at this point, I'll see just about anything you're in.
- Kristen Stewart is so thrilled to be everywhere. Girl, stop it. Grin and bare it. Look at Zac Efron! That should make anyone smile.
- The new Twilight clip - that werewolf looks RIDICULOUS. But hey, Jasper!
- Ben Stiller gets a big award and not ONE moment of Heavywights is shown in the clip montage? Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle, indeed.
- Keifer is looking so put-together tonight - I'm not sure I like it.
- Commercials - Sims 3 - sorry to my friends, but you may not see me for a while.
- My Sister's Keeper - I can't even watch the trailer without tearing up.
- McBride and Ferrell? Yes, please.
- Best Villain, Heath Ledger - not given out live? BOO. C'mon, that was ripe for a Cillian Murphy appearance.
- Best picture coming up, and let's not even bother with wondering what's going to win - Twilight, yo. This could have been such a HSM3 year if it weren't for those damn vampires. Now someone go and buy those kids some combs.
I guess that's it - pretty uneventful this year due to the bloodsuckers. Samberg was fun.
See you next year, y'all!
So - MTV Movie Awards, aka the MTV Awards show where I actually know who almost all of the presenters and performers are. Will it be fun? Will Andy Samberg break out a laser cat? Will they ever be able to top the Lifetime Achievement Award given to Chewbacca years ago? For those of you keeping track at home, the answers to those questions are: maybe, possibly, and God no, are you kidding me? That Chewbacca thing was the greatest.
Hey, remember when Courtney Cox hosted this and she played the drums at the beginning? Am I making that up? I think that happened. Good Lord, I'm already loopy and this thing hasn't even started. Let's do this bitch - two hours with updates every ten minutes or so. Comment along with me if you'd like! And in the spirit of the subject of the awards...ACTION!
- Oh God, the screaming for Twilight has already begun and we're only a minute in. I'm already thinking of taking back what I said about this maybe being fun. That is going to win everything it's up for isn't it? Have I discussed Twilight here before? I don't think I have. Here's the thing - I haven't read the books, so I'm not as well-versed in the Twilight thing as people are. The only thing I know about it is from seeing the movie opening weekend and I hated it. I was bored, bored, bored. Jasper was hot, though. So just know that going forward. Anytime they win shit, I'm most likely rolling my eyes. Carrying on!
- Is the target audience for this show going to get this reference to The Reader? I kind of feel like young kids shouldn't see that movie for fear of them being scarred by shot after shot of Kate Winslet's creepy nips.
- Thank God Paul isn't over while Andy Samberg is telling them it's okay to fart tonight.
- MMMM, Zac Efron - maybe this won't be that bad.
- Ashley Tisdale's shoes are AMAZING. Sharpay would be so proud.
- Megan Fox is hot and all, but that hair! It looks like she just walked out of the shower. Girl, come on now. Nice Louboutins, though. Am I all about the shoes tonight or what? And say what you will, but I am very excited for the new Transformers movie.
- Am I the only one who feels like The Dark Knight happened so long ago?
- Shia kind of looks like he's going to rape someone. Sketchy.
- Poor Robert Pattinson getting screamed at everywhere he goes. You'll always be Cedric to me, Robby Boy.
- Do I really have to recap Eminem? Nah.
- Keyboard solo, J.J. Abrams! Nice.
- If Edward Cullen doesn't win breakthrough performance, I'll...eat my hat? Do people still say that? No matter, he won anyway.
- Bruno - Sasha Baron Cohen has a death wish doing that to Eminem. Oh lordy.
- Efron! Yum. What? He's 21 now.
- I enjoy the Ryan Reynolds. That's all.
- More people should have seen Wanted - that movie was fun.
- Loving the Andy Samberg song montage. Who knew Leann Rimes had it in her?
- Hayden, oh no. No. No rapping.
- Following the WTF Award, WTF is Leighton Meester wearing? Girl, take some tips from Blair.
- Miley is so annoying. Get away. ("IT"S MILEY!!)
- Commercials: Dear Danny McBride - at this point, I'll see just about anything you're in.
- Kristen Stewart is so thrilled to be everywhere. Girl, stop it. Grin and bare it. Look at Zac Efron! That should make anyone smile.
- The new Twilight clip - that werewolf looks RIDICULOUS. But hey, Jasper!
- Ben Stiller gets a big award and not ONE moment of Heavywights is shown in the clip montage? Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle, indeed.
- Keifer is looking so put-together tonight - I'm not sure I like it.
- Commercials - Sims 3 - sorry to my friends, but you may not see me for a while.
- My Sister's Keeper - I can't even watch the trailer without tearing up.
- McBride and Ferrell? Yes, please.
- Best Villain, Heath Ledger - not given out live? BOO. C'mon, that was ripe for a Cillian Murphy appearance.
- Best picture coming up, and let's not even bother with wondering what's going to win - Twilight, yo. This could have been such a HSM3 year if it weren't for those damn vampires. Now someone go and buy those kids some combs.
I guess that's it - pretty uneventful this year due to the bloodsuckers. Samberg was fun.
See you next year, y'all!
In defense of my dear, beloved Twilight -- the books are MUUUUUCH better than the movie. I mean, it's not going to change your life, but I am pretty sure the pages are laced with crack. Approach with caution....
Posted by: Shelly | June 01, 2009 at 05:23 PM