"This drink tastes like my asshole with caffeine."
And with that statement made by Paul last night, Bar Tuesdays was back.
Since we only went to 3 bars during the winter break, we're going to just call those 3 bars Season 3 1/2 and make this summer the official season four. This time we're going statewide, so expect some new and interesting places. Of course, the more things may change, the more they stay the same as I started off the season last night just like I did in Season 1: dancing with a man with 8 teeth in his head - but we'll get to that. First things first:
Week One: Muldowney's Pub
We started things off this season in Providence at this little hole-in-the-wall Irish bar downtown. Paul and I walked in and sat down just as an impromptu dance party erupted in the corner, with the owner lifting up his shirt and everything. Paul and I just turned to each other and were all, "Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays!"
Paul and I settled into the bar and checked out the scenery as we waited for the others to arrive. Paul: "Maximum capacity 65 people? I've been to house parties bigger than that." A few minutes after we arrived, Paul nudged me and told me to check out a David Cross look-a-like at the bar who was staring at us and looking like he was going to fall asleep. I looked over and saw this completely obliterated guy trying to focus his eyes and smiling away as they kept trying to close. Just then, he got up and stumbled over to us. He smiled and introduced himself to Paul and started saying things that mde no sense. Then he shook my hand and then turned back to Paul and blurted out, "You're cute," and then ran away, giggling. Paul: "I gotta go." It was very sweet.
I had just about finished teasing Paul about his new boyfriend when this person walked in and stood right next to me at the end of the bar and stared at the bartender until the bartender looked up and immediately said, "No! You're not allowed in here anymore. Go."
The person just sneered and shouted back, "That's because last time I was here you were too busy stuffing your face instead of serving me drinks!" Oh, and the "serving me drinks" portion was said along with a finger tapping the bar. It was awesome. The angry person finally left and I heard another patron say that she was gone, which made me turn to Paul and remark, "Wait, that was a woman?" Paul just nodded and said, "We've only been here ten minutes and all of this has already happened." Just then, a homeless person came to the door and stuck his head in and smiled and waved and then just backed out and continued off down the street. This place was amazing.
Throughout the next half hour or so there continued to be brief impromptu dance breakouts, mostly between a guy who was sitting near us who would grab a woman from the other end of the bar and just dance it out. They all seemed to be the Lovable Local regulars that we love so much. Dancer Guy spent most of the rest of the time just singing his heart out to every song that came on the jukebox. At one point, he turned to me and stated, "I love your hair. It's the same color as my daughter's." Then he held onto his heart and swayed. I asked him how old his daughter was and then he launched into Dancer Guy's Life Story, which included the part about him being a twin and being born with a hole in his face. Apparently, he was missing a nose and mouth and all of that important stuff and was in the hospital until he was two years old having all kinds of reconstructive surgery and recovering. He said there are articles about him in the New England Journal of Medicine, which I now need to check out. We heard about his kids and his childhood and his teen years and how he used to have millions but quit to do something else and now has nothing. Oh, but he loved to dance. I was all into the stories - this is what Bar Tuesday is all about! After a little while, the music kicked up loud and Dancer Guy went outside to smoke so Story Time was over. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the group arrived to kick things off all proper:
As usual, Michael went straight for the lotto machines:
I was busy showing the boys my new shoes when Brown Eyed Girl started up on the jukebox. That's when the magic happened. But first, the shoes:
What a great place to wear them for the first time. Anyway, as soon as the song started, Dancing Guy jumped up and yelled, "Yes! I love this song!" Then he came over to me and held out his hand and asked me to dance. How could I say no? Hence, this:
I love Paul's reaction to seeing all of this as he emerged from the bathroom:
Of course, I don't know how I didn't notice this, but I guess Dancing Guy was being Grab Himself guy while we danced:
Yikes. That totally proves the statement that I made to Paul earlier in the evening: "How is it that WE are the classy people in this place? How does that. happen?" So true.
Thankfully, I think the crotch grabbing was just part of the dancing since Paul was outside a few minutes after that and Dancing Guy turned to him and said, "I don't know what you're about, but I think you're a doll."
Paul, the Belle of the Bar Tuesday Ball. I asked Paul if he told him that he was about the ladies, but he said he just thanked him. Then Paul made another bathroom stop after which he came out showing me a camera phone picture of the toilet, complete with duct tape all over the lid. Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays, indeed.
Next week: a bar that reportedly has computer chairs instead of stools. Also? A crew member brings his mom. See you then!
And with that statement made by Paul last night, Bar Tuesdays was back.
Since we only went to 3 bars during the winter break, we're going to just call those 3 bars Season 3 1/2 and make this summer the official season four. This time we're going statewide, so expect some new and interesting places. Of course, the more things may change, the more they stay the same as I started off the season last night just like I did in Season 1: dancing with a man with 8 teeth in his head - but we'll get to that. First things first:
Week One: Muldowney's Pub
We started things off this season in Providence at this little hole-in-the-wall Irish bar downtown. Paul and I walked in and sat down just as an impromptu dance party erupted in the corner, with the owner lifting up his shirt and everything. Paul and I just turned to each other and were all, "Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays!"
Paul and I settled into the bar and checked out the scenery as we waited for the others to arrive. Paul: "Maximum capacity 65 people? I've been to house parties bigger than that." A few minutes after we arrived, Paul nudged me and told me to check out a David Cross look-a-like at the bar who was staring at us and looking like he was going to fall asleep. I looked over and saw this completely obliterated guy trying to focus his eyes and smiling away as they kept trying to close. Just then, he got up and stumbled over to us. He smiled and introduced himself to Paul and started saying things that mde no sense. Then he shook my hand and then turned back to Paul and blurted out, "You're cute," and then ran away, giggling. Paul: "I gotta go." It was very sweet.
I had just about finished teasing Paul about his new boyfriend when this person walked in and stood right next to me at the end of the bar and stared at the bartender until the bartender looked up and immediately said, "No! You're not allowed in here anymore. Go."
The person just sneered and shouted back, "That's because last time I was here you were too busy stuffing your face instead of serving me drinks!" Oh, and the "serving me drinks" portion was said along with a finger tapping the bar. It was awesome. The angry person finally left and I heard another patron say that she was gone, which made me turn to Paul and remark, "Wait, that was a woman?" Paul just nodded and said, "We've only been here ten minutes and all of this has already happened." Just then, a homeless person came to the door and stuck his head in and smiled and waved and then just backed out and continued off down the street. This place was amazing.
Throughout the next half hour or so there continued to be brief impromptu dance breakouts, mostly between a guy who was sitting near us who would grab a woman from the other end of the bar and just dance it out. They all seemed to be the Lovable Local regulars that we love so much. Dancer Guy spent most of the rest of the time just singing his heart out to every song that came on the jukebox. At one point, he turned to me and stated, "I love your hair. It's the same color as my daughter's." Then he held onto his heart and swayed. I asked him how old his daughter was and then he launched into Dancer Guy's Life Story, which included the part about him being a twin and being born with a hole in his face. Apparently, he was missing a nose and mouth and all of that important stuff and was in the hospital until he was two years old having all kinds of reconstructive surgery and recovering. He said there are articles about him in the New England Journal of Medicine, which I now need to check out. We heard about his kids and his childhood and his teen years and how he used to have millions but quit to do something else and now has nothing. Oh, but he loved to dance. I was all into the stories - this is what Bar Tuesday is all about! After a little while, the music kicked up loud and Dancer Guy went outside to smoke so Story Time was over. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the group arrived to kick things off all proper:
As usual, Michael went straight for the lotto machines:
I was busy showing the boys my new shoes when Brown Eyed Girl started up on the jukebox. That's when the magic happened. But first, the shoes:
What a great place to wear them for the first time. Anyway, as soon as the song started, Dancing Guy jumped up and yelled, "Yes! I love this song!" Then he came over to me and held out his hand and asked me to dance. How could I say no? Hence, this:
I love Paul's reaction to seeing all of this as he emerged from the bathroom:
Of course, I don't know how I didn't notice this, but I guess Dancing Guy was being Grab Himself guy while we danced:
Yikes. That totally proves the statement that I made to Paul earlier in the evening: "How is it that WE are the classy people in this place? How does that. happen?" So true.
Thankfully, I think the crotch grabbing was just part of the dancing since Paul was outside a few minutes after that and Dancing Guy turned to him and said, "I don't know what you're about, but I think you're a doll."
Paul, the Belle of the Bar Tuesday Ball. I asked Paul if he told him that he was about the ladies, but he said he just thanked him. Then Paul made another bathroom stop after which he came out showing me a camera phone picture of the toilet, complete with duct tape all over the lid. Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays, indeed.
Next week: a bar that reportedly has computer chairs instead of stools. Also? A crew member brings his mom. See you then!
For the record? Paul IS a doll. And also - it is now my life's mission to be there for a Bar Tuesday.
Posted by: Shelly | June 03, 2009 at 04:59 PM