So my list of 101 Things to do in 1001 Days may have expired 9/28/07, but I am gleefully crossing this one off of the list, even if it is quite belatedly. Good things do come to those who wait, because after being friends since March of 2003 or something crazy like that, I FINALLY got to meet my friend Shelly in person last weekend and I had the BEST time. I had tried to get out her way for her wedding in December of 2007, but plane fare was quite high at that time, so I had to sit it out. But thankfully, I decided to check plane fares on a whim a few months ago and found a great rate to Minnesota so I just decided, "I'm going to go visit Shelly!"
And that I did.
It's so funny to meet someone that you've been friends with online because in some special cases, that person knows a LOT about you. Sometimes it's easier to tell Internet pals things that you may not share all of with your home friends just because they're outside of the situation and can give you good advice or just listen and share their stories with you. And although it seems like it should be a little awkward or weird if you finally meet in person, I have found that it never is. Shelly was no exception - we fell right into our groove as if we've been hanging out for years. I mean, we virtually "hang out" through regular e-mails and sometimes on the phone, so I suppose it should come easy. Still, nothing beats kicking it in a hotel hot tub together while engaging in some good ol' fashioned girl talk. It was little moments like these that made my fun trip even better. And Shelly's husband, Todd? Totally awesome. We all just had an easy-going kickass weekend, and I thank them for taking me on a tour of the town and showing me an amazing time. And kudos to finding a FANTASTIC dive bar to hit for karaoke - it was a perfect Bar Tuesday establishment and may need to move its location up here immediately. The clientele, too. Plus, I'm forgetting to mention one of the most important things: MALL OF AMERICA. That's right, I conquered that bitch.
But what good are words when I have pictures of our adventures? There are many, so I'm going to put them all on the next page so as not to take up my whole page with pictures of me on the flume ride at the mall. Oh, yes.
Click below for the picture diary!
Day One: I didn't take any pictures because I arrived that night and met up with Shelly and Todd at our hotel. We hung in the lounge and then hit the hot tub, and I think I'll just keep any hot tub pictures to myself. No one needs to see my blindingly white cleavage, I assure you of that.
Day Two: Mall of America/Dive Bar Karaoke Day!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

I made it! The mall was crazy big, but I didn't find it to be that daunting. Somehow we managed to hit the entire 3 floors of shopping (the 4th floor is just the movie theater and bar and the underground is an aquarium). Shelly had warned me that we probably wouldn't see the whole mall, but we did, probably because we didn't stop in too many stores. I didn't have a whole lot of money to spend and Shelly and Todd just bought a house, so our lack of needing to burn a whole lot of money helped keep us out of a lot of places. Of course, that doesn't mean that I didn't buy anything - rather, we just kept to stores that had must-have things in them. Like Robot Lamps. Clearly, I had to have one of those. And I could have bought out half of that store, with Shelly probably buying out the rest. It was awesome. Anyhoo, my other favorite thing at the mall besides shopping? The Nickelodeon Theme Park! Here we are being welcomed by a giant bronze spongebob statue:

And posing with Dora and Boots:

Here's a view of the park from the 3rd floor:

The amusement park was in the center of the mall, and all of the stores were in a circle around it. The place had 30 rides as well as other stuff, and I may have gone on the flume ride 2 days in a row. Okay, I did go on it two days in a row. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a flume ride. Todd graciously accompanied me both times as well while Shelly watched from the bottom and took pictures of my arm waving over the wall:

On our first day at the mall, we came upon the Meet & Greet are of the park just at the time that some special guests would be around for pictures. One of them lives here:

Oh yes, Spongebob himself was there to meet everyone. I wasn't sold on the whole thing until I saw that he had a friend with him, and who can resist the lure of both Spongebob and Patrick? No one, I tell you. (If Squidward had been there, I may have peed myself.) Anyway, I got right in line and went to meet and pose with the boys:

That's when Spongebob got a little fresh. Look at his hand in relation to my ass:


Spongebob, you dirty boy!
Throughout our day at the mall, we ran across a giant moose walking around that was promoting the mini-golf course. Now, I love me a mascot, but he was just okay. That's not to say that I didn't excitedly wave hello when I saw him. Come on now. Of COURSE I did. Anyway, I probably wasn't as jazzed about the moose because there was a giant Bubba Gump shrimp everywhere we went. I may have been a bit too excited by him, but come on, he looks like a giant sea monkey!

That was probably the 4th time we ran into him, when he had finally made his way back upstairs to the Bubba Gump Shrimp restaurant. That's where I found something crazy awesome - a Forrest Gump bench that you could sit on and put your feet in his sneakers. It even came complete with suitcase and box of chocolates! Forget Forrest's suit in the plexiglass container - I was ALL about the bench. Here's Shelly and me doing our best Gumps:


You pretty much have to pose like that when on that bench.
After our day at the mall, we headed back to the hotel to change and get ready for our night out. I also had to give Tim the new clothes that I bought him, and he stopped by Shelly and Todd's room to show off some of his outfits. This also gave them both a chance to have a brush with Sock Greatness:


After that, we headed downtown to grab something to eat before karaoke. It was gorgeous weather, so we sat outside at a bar & grille and enjoyed the sun:


Of course, we also enjoyed the people watching that sitting outside afforded us, especially this hot mess across the street:


I still have no idea. After dinner, we headed over to the bar to take advantage of the 2 for 1 booze special that they had in the hour before karaoke started. Oh, Vegas Lounge. Still not letting me bring in my piece:

These signs were all over the place - I've never seen anything like it! Apparently you can carry and conceal a weapon in Minnesota but many establishments frown upon you packing heat inside their walls. I found it a lot around places that served alcohol. Go figure. Also, it is 8 o'clock at night and look how sunny it still is. It didn't get dark there until after 9 PM - what is that all about? Crazy! Shelly said some nights get dark around 10. Where was I, Alaska? Anyhoo, back to the AMAZINGLY AWESOME Vegas Lounge.

Sadly, we were a few hours too late for the meat raffle.

But hey, we were still smiling anyway:

After all, we were right on time for the karaoke:



Shelly and Todd both kicked ass up there. Shelly was all, "I don't know, I've only sang in groups before and I don't know and...THE ONLY BOY WHO COULD EVER LOVE ME WAS THE SON OF A PREACHER MAN!" All soul and huskiness. Todd rocked out some Weezer and Everclear, much to the delight of the rocker crowd. Another surprising delight? The amount of people who got into a patron's rendition of the Wilson Phillips classic, Hold On. Shelly and I were not averse to the song's magic:


That is totally going to be our first album cover.
The Vegas Lounge truly did have all the elements of a great dive bar: lovable locals, cheap drinks, meat raffles, and sketchy bathrooms - check out the door to the handicapped stall in the ladies room:

I was also issued this warning before exiting:

WASH YOUR HANDS...in our creepy sinks:

Sadly, none of the patrons really appealed to me on a physical level. If one of them had, the bathroom would have hooked me up with an assortment of supplies to choose from:


I don't know which sounds better - the Rugged n' Ready or the Black Magic. Such difficult choices! Anyway, like I said, the lack of teeth and grooming/bathing with most of the crowd saved me 75 cents. Shelly and Todd enjoyed the luxury of having a designated driver with them as they usually have to rotate when they go out. Here are the Tipsy Two on our way out:

Day Three: Downtown Minneapolis & Sock Monkey Pals Reunite!
Sunday was designated as Downtown Minneapolis Day, and once again we were blessed with gorgeous weather. We started the day off with brunch at Hell's Kitchen, which is down in the basement and had pajama-clad waitstaff:

It also had ridiculously good homemade peanut butter and blackberry jam and a red piano that I must have. After brunch we headed around the corner to see the Mary Tyler Moore statue. I really wish I had brought a hat to toss into the air for maximum photo opportunity potential. Oh well. I tried my best anyway:

Shelly seems to think that she's humping Mary's leg in this picture, but I don't see it:

Also near Mary? This building, which makes me want to build a house just so I can cover it in musical notes:

I don't even know what that place was, but clearly I need to go and either work or live there.
After that, we made a side trip to meet up with the reason that I had my sock monkey with me, my friends Marcia and Mike and their sock monkey, Nate. I've met Marcia and Nate twice before when they visited New England, so it was nice to finally visit on their home turf. We met up with them at the Minneapolis Sculpture Garden, home of this awesomeness:

And, because you have to:



I think it's a law.
And here are Tim and Nate, together again!

Sock friends since 1995 or 1996 - we can't remember. It brings a tear to the eye, doesn't it? Here I am with Marcia and Mike and our boys:

We all explored the sculpture garden together, and having the extra people finally gave us an opportunity to have me, Shelly and Todd all in the same picture together:

The gardens had a bunch of different things, including this statue that just looked like it was pooping to me:

I know, I'm 12. There was also a little part with a square full of these little stone benches. I thought they were all memorial benches or something until I got up close and realized that they all had sassy little sayings engraved on them:

After a while, it was time for Marcia and Mike to head out so Shelly, Todd and I wandered up to the art gallery to find a bathroom and came upon the creepiest/best wallpaper I have ever seen:

Eyeballs!

I need some of that, or at least my Sims do. After being stared at by the walls, we made our way back to downtown Minneapolis, where I saw a place that has lots to do with Prince. I don't remember all of it, but I know parts of Purple Rain were filmed here:

Then Shelly took me somewhere that I requested to go:

Since Minnesota is the home of Target, I had to go to one. And this was one of the gigantic and fun ones that I have always wanted to go to! It was two floors and had the carriage escalator that I've always heard about. It was, in a word, magic.
While we were walking the streets after my Target experience, we ran across this awesomeness:

It was called the Pedal Pub, and it was exactly what it looks and sounds like: a bunch of drunk people pedaling up and down the street on a mobile pub cart. The bartender was in the middle and the bar was a horseshoe around it. It seemed like the bartender was also in charge of the steering. All I know is that those pedaling pubbers were having the time of their lives, hooting and hollering all down the street. I wanted to jump on.
After my legs were crying from all of the walking, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for dinner. We decided to head back over to the mall to grab a bite at Tony Roma's Steakhouse. I had been obsessed with it since we saw it the day before, all, "Why the hell does he have his own steakhouse?! This makes no sense! And why is it in Minnesota and not Dallas?" Of course, the next day I woke up and was like, "Um, Pam? You were totally thinking of Tony ROMO, you moron. Now this makes much more sense." In any event, the food was delicious and the mall trip afforded me another chance to go on the flume ride!

The best part of that picture is CLEARLY the random woman in the wheelchair. Anyway, Todd and I braved the waters once again.


And now for the two least flattering pictures of me ever taken:


I can't believe that I didn't pay $10 for that second one. And I love how Todd is all posing for it while I'm all, "AAAAGGGHHHH!!!" Oh, flume rides - I do love you so even if you make my new shirt all wet:

As the mall was closing, we made our way back to the hotel and Shelly said the magic words, "Hot tub and pool?" Oh, yes. So we spent our last night together the same way we spent the first: chilling and relaxing in the hot tub and pool. Once again, I will spare you the hot tub pics but I will share this awesome pool picture of Shelly and Todd:

Once we were pruny and tired, we finally headed back upstairs. I went to my room and changed and then headed down to Shelly and Todd's room to just hang for a little while before we had to say our goodbyes. Aww, I was going to miss Mr. Todd and my Shelly.

So pretty!
Tim even came down to spend some time with them and give me some love:

Sadly, I finally had to go and sleep so we said our goodbyes and I headed home early the next afternoon. I came out of the hotel to find a sweet note that Todd had written from the two of them stuck on my rental car wishing me a safe trip and saying what a great time they had. Awww. Me, too guys - me, too.
Now when are we doing it again?
Dear Pam. What a great and hilarious story of your visit! So many things to like, but I think (as a reader) that the single thing that made me laugh the most was the fancy condom machine in the bathroom. Hilarious. You photograph and pose very well. I actually tuned in to see if you had commentary on MJ, thinking that you might. You know, all things media, I figured you would have an opinion. Regardless, I was treated to great pics and a great story. All my best, O.
Posted by: Olaf | June 26, 2009 at 05:59 PM