Everything's More Fun In Pigtails!

So....

It looks like my thoughts on my unintentional summer vacation away from my blog possibly turning into a fall one seem to be the way it's going to be. Which is to say that I'm taking a little vacation from here for a while. I don't know how long it will last - we'll see. And it's not that I don't love y'all - I do - it's just that like I said in my earlier entry, I feel like I'm outgrowing my place here.

I started my blog in January 2003. I was 28 years old and my heart had just been irreparably broken. I needed something to take my mind off of the pain and give me something, so I turned to one of my loves, which was writing. I found my voice and I wrote and I loved every minute of it. It didn't even matter what I was writing about - it was the process and the practice and the excitement that made it all worthwhile. One of my earliest entries was about a smelly man in the waiting room of an office I worked at, but just sitting down in front of a blank screen and bringing that whole moment to life was exhilirating. It took my mind off of things for a little while, and I was grateful for that.

Then something funny happened - I started to connect with strangers through our shared words and I found a whole online family of friends. I remember the first person I had a shared connection with was Heather, a writer I looked up to who is now quite famous for her way with words. I still had a secret side blog about the breakup I was going through, which was mirroring events in her life. Other people reached out as well and I found this whole sisterhood and camaraderie. It was amazing and it was just what I needed.

Not long after I started my blog, I met another blogger through diaryland and we started e-mailing each other. That person was Shelly, and we have been fantastic friends ever since. I've been with her from before she met her husband and I remember hearing about her first date with him. I finally met them both earlier this year and I intend to still be there when she tells me about her grandchildren.

I also met my LA peeps through our blogs and can't wait to see them all in a few weeks. I could go on and on about them all, but if you've read any of my stuff, you know how awesome they all are. I just remember when I first started chatting with Jessica she told me that she had said to one of her friends, "She's like east coast us with her love of boys and chocolate." So, so, true.

I've also met some other wonderful people through here for various reasons - shoes, Gavin, Hanson, karaoke, etc. - y'all know who you are and you all rock.

ANYWAY - this is all just to say that I'm so glad I decided to sit down one January day in 2003 and start writing here. I've made some amazing friends along the way and had a blast doing all of it. But now I guess I'm ready for the next chapter in my life. I just turned 35 two days ago and in many ways, my life is very different than it was when I started all of this. Of course, I still love TV and boys and candy and all of that good stuff. I'm still the same sockgirlie, but on a deeper level things have moved along. And at this point, I've moved to the place where I don't even think to write here anymore most of the time. I don't know why - it's not like I don't still love writing, but it's not as important to me as it once was. I hope to come back some day soon with stories about the crazy things I've been doing, but for now, I think you'll just all have to use your imagination to think of the hijinks that will be ensuing. Please let them all involve evil clowns, Gavin, killer high heels and Chewy Nerds.

And thanks for reading and all the love. :-)


To be continued...???

2009 MTV VMA Aftermath & Why I Wasn't Blogging It

Y'all? I can't even hire my TiVo to babysit the VMAs for one night while I go out and do something because it just lets Kanye out to just do whatever his stupidly-shaved head's ass is going to do. GAH. I was all, "Ooh, I have concert tickets for that night, I'll just record the show and watch it the next day - no biggie. It sucked the last few years, so I'm sure I won't miss much." Then I get an ominous text from my brother telling me to wait until I see what Kanye has pulled, but giving me no specifics. I knew it had to be bad, because it actually caused my brother to type "omg" for the first time in his existence. He is 36 years old. ANYWAY - I found out about the Kanye mess when I got home last night and then watched the show tonight and found out that it was actually enjoyable. How did that happen? Well played, MTV. Well played. Since I wasn't around to liveblog, I'm just going to be lazy and give you my thoughts after watching the show tonight and then I'll tell you why I wasn't home last night to see it - here's a hint - it involves a Blind love of mine. Shall we?

- Should I just get the Kanye thing out of the way first so we can move on? Anyone who has read any of my award recaps knows that I do not hide my hatred of Kanye. I've never liked his ass and never will. I'm sure he's talented musically, but nowhere close to the degree that he believes he is. To me, he's the Spencer Pratt of music - he just needs to shut up and go away. Kanye's actually worse because he has success so he can do things like go on stage and be an asshole on TV and ruin and excited 19 year-old's moment. And dear Kanye - Taylor outsells your ass so get lost. Beyonce was all class at the end when she brought her back. Go ahead, girl. And MTV really should have learned its lesson about even inviting Kanye back after he complains about not winning things all the time and vows to boycott. Idle threats! DO IT. PLEASE. Okay, I'm done. Now, on to the other business....

- MJ tribute opening - Madonna looked quite lovely, didn't sound so British and was pretty classy. But still - nothing can top my excitement for Scream with Janet coming out. I LOVE that video. Once again I say, go ahead, girl.

- Russell Brand. I have nothing to say about him actually since I fast-forwarded through every word he said. From what I hear, he wasn't really funny anyway. What's that sound my TiVo makes? Be-coop!

- Taylor Swift on the F train - I was on that exact train one week earlier and no fun dance party broke out. Damn. It's nice to see she's sounding better live, though. Go ahead, girl. (I know, I will stop. Why can't I stop saying that? I don't ever say it. Maybe it's in my head from someone saying it at the salon the other day.)

- Oh, Green Day - you can even get J. Lo on her feet and dancing. Also? I rock that song in Rock Band. Just saying.

- I think it's time to talk about Lady GaGa. I...I have no idea. She's mental, right? That red outfit she accepted her award in? Even Bjork would be like, "No thanks." But let's talk about why they randomly wheeled out a dancer in a wheelchair during her performance while GaGa walked with an arm brace for about 30 seconds. What am I missing? Why are there cripples in the dance number? I just sat there during the whole song saying, "I have no idea what is happening right now." The weird thing is that I really liked the whole thing, I just am so confused. Help me.

- Okay, so I don't really want to admit this shit, but that extended trailer for New Moon looked goooood. Damn. And Robert Pattinson? DAYAM. Totally reminded me of why I have a cardboard cutout of him in my room, watching me sleep. Ahem.

- Beyonce, Beyonce, Beyonce. I liked everything but looking at your ladybits. Seriously, it was like porn when she was dipping it low and grinding. Lower those leg cuts, missy!

- When did Chris Hardwick become the lead singer of Muse?

- What was up with Tyson Ritter of The All-American Rejects covered in glitter when they jumped in with the house band? Is he trying to be a Twilight vampire and sparkling in the light? He looked ridiculous, and he's usually ridiculously hot. Get it together, Ritter.

- And finally, I'm happy to see that Eminem is FINALLY lightening up. Maybe he can give Kanye some tips. Nah, he was never even 1/4 as bad as him.

So those were some thoughts on what I remembered. Barring any events that pop up, I should be here with you on Sunday live-blogging the Emmys, so make sure you come by for that and let me know what you think. I'm VERY excited for NPH. And if Ben wins for Lost.

__________________________________

Now - why wasn't I home for the VMAs last night? Why, because I was at the American Idols Tour seeing Blindy. He was honestly the reason I went - remember, not so much musically but just because I love his awkward, adorable blind ass. I want him to be my best friend. Paul? Not so much:



But we had fun the rest of the night (except for me almost vomiting during Adam Lambert's set. Ugh.) and were quite happy to find that we weren't the oldest people there without children by a long shot. Yay, we're not creeps!



...Or are we since we went outside by the buses after the show? If so, then we were 3 of MANY creeps out there, almost all without kids so I felt better. Most were there for Adam (again, gross):



Paul wanted me to get a picture of him for him and I tried to resist, saying my camera was going to get herpes, but I took the risk. I do have to admit that he seemed like a vey nice guy and not as pompous as he was on the show. Still, gross. He was gyrating during the show and making me sick. Not in front of the kids, Lambert. We also caught glimpses of Anoop:



Matt:



Allison:



Megan, who I didn't get a picture of, but who was gorgeous, and Mr. Danny Gokey, who won my prize of best singer of the night. Seriously, he blew the roof off the joint. Cute, too:



Kris, Lil and Matt hadn't come out by the time we left, but we didn't care because I was only back there for one person and one person only. BLINDY. And he didn't disappoint me. He and his mom came out and she walked him around - he took his time going down the line of people and she would hand him things to sign and guide his hand to give out many of the high fives people were asking for. Oh, Blindy.



The only bad part about the whole "waiting by the bus" thing was that all of the idols were behind a half stone wall and there were so many people out there that if you were more than 3 people back you couldn't get near them. They just came out and signed stuff, so there was no opportunity to have your picture taken with them. But do you think that would stop me from trying to get my picture with my Scotty? Oh, no. I would find a way, even if it was an unconventional shot. I enlisted the help of Paul, who called to Blindy to look his way and smile. Blindy obliged, and now I have this:



Yay!

In the immortal words of one Mariah Carey: "If you believe in yourself enough and know what you want, you're gonna make it happen." Go ahead, girl (SORRY!!! No more!)

The Day I Vowed Never To Go On A Non-Flume Ride Again

aka, sneak peek of clips from our upcoming Paul & Pam show episode where we head to the local county fair. We got dressed up in our trashiest outfits and fit right in. Enjoy:



Never again, Zipper. Never again. In happier news, the "Guess Your Age Within 2 Years" guy thought I was 25. Sweet!

Sunday Night Karaoke In The Big Apple

These are some of the things that take place when 3 people descend upon a New York City karaoke bar that has a song list bigger than the white pages and take over during their slow hours on a Sunday night. (Thank goodness my performance of The Rain by Oran' Juice Jones was not captured on film. That's one that's best left to see in person. Or never at all.)



2nd on 2nd - we'll be back. SOON.

Summer Vacation....

"Tune in, groove on, bust out."

Why, hello there. It's been a while, my lovelies. Apparently I decided to take a blog summer vacation. Who knew? I don't know why, but I just haven't been in the zone or inspired to sit down and take the time to write much outside of a Bar Tuesday review (and I even have two of those I haven't gotten to yet!). On the one hand, I have been keeping pretty busy this summer, which is always a good and fun thing because we know that will all change when fall TV starts, but on the other hand I fear my summer vacation may turn into a fall one, then winter....

I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old and crotchety and I'll be back here posting away as soon as September hits. Or maybe it's because I'm getting old and outgrowing all of it. I'm going to be 35 next month and I am not looking forward to it. That is OLD, y'all. I'm going to be out of the target 18-34 demographic! NO! Does this mean I'm going to have to start watching Diagnosis Murder repeats? I REFUSE.

Ahem.

Anyway, as I was saying, things have changed since I started my blog way back in January of 2003. Things have happened, life has happened and I have been happy to go through a lot of it with you guys. Maybe that's what will keep me coming back. However, I'm not in my 20's anymore - I initially set up a blog just to keep myself in the habit of writing. I had been out of it a little bit and wanted to keep at it to keep my writing "muscles" toned. The practice helped me in developing a stronger voice in my writing and my blog found me a lot of fantastic friends. This is another reason that I may come back and hang around more often, although I now have other ways of keeping in touch with them. As my age keeps creeping, life keeps happening to and all around me - friends are married and having babies and chnaging careers and going back to school and all kinds of things. Our priorities and wants and needs in life evolve, mine included. Perhaps the need to write just to write has gone away for me - maybe there's more important and other things for me right now. Maybe they're waiting in Brooklyn. Who knows? One can hope for more, right?

I guess what all of this senseless rambling is trying to say is, "Hi. I'm here checking in, but who knows how long I'll keep checking in for. I'll probably take most of the summer off, but before I do, here's a highlight of some things I've been up to instead of being here." Wow, I should have just said that from the get-go.

So lete's do this - the highlights of my adventures since my last entry. Shall we?

- Connecticon. PEOPLE, Connecticon was an AMAZING event. As I probably mentioned before, Paul and I are going to be having our own public access variety show so we have started filming some of our adventures for it. A friend of ours works at the convention center in Hartford, Connecticut and told us all about this anime/comic convention that she worked last year. Paul and I thought it sounded like the perfect place to film some stuff, and it was beyond our wildest dreams. The convention ran from Friday-Sunday and after going on the Sunday, we had wished that we had gone to the whole thing. We were there for almost 6 hours just fascinated by everyone and everything. It was the best. We need to go to more of it next year. And we need to go to the furry convention in October that someone told us about. But I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. First, let's start with the ensembles. We heard that people dressed in all kinds of costumes and such for it, but my brother pooh-poohed my idea of wearing my Wonder Woman costume (Next year!), so we opted to just dress in bright, fun outfits. Paul pulled one of his thrift store finds from the other public access show that we guest hosted, thinking he would stick out a little, but as we found out, we were pretty underdressed. Anyhoo, here's what we wore:



To give you a partial understanding as to why we felt underdressed when we got there, here is a woman who I quickly became obsessed with and stalked for a good half hour before approaching her:



She was AWESOME. She was also the one who gave us the tip about the Furry Convention, which is something I simply need to be at. I wonder if I can get a monkey head for it. Anyway, there was so much to do and see at the convention. First, there were the people themselves. You really didn't even need to do anything more than just hang out with the people. They were all so nice, too. There were a lot of people with "free hugs" signs and impromptu song & dance parties were breaking out everywhere you went. I believe that Paul and I joined into a dance to a Pokemon-related song, but I'm still not sure. We enjoyed whatever it was. Aside from that, there were video game rooms, dice, card and board game tables, larp-related swordfighting tournaments, etc. There was also a huge shopping area with vendors selling all sorts of things and another room upstairs where artists were selling their stuff. You could get drawings commissioned, so Paul took advantage of that after seeing one of the examples shown on one table. So here, for only $10, is a personal sketch of Paul sitting on the toilet:



What is better than that?

Well, I would imagine some video clips would work out better. We ended up taking about 45 minutes of footage, but here's a 4 minute teaser video I made to whet people's appetite for the full show. Enjoy:



Oh, Connecticon - we love you.

- Dating in the Dark - People, I am obsessed. Have you seen this show? If not, get thee to abc.com immediately and watch it there. I LOVE IT. It's so ridiculous but I got sucked right in. If you haven't heard about it, it's a dating show that features 3 girls and 3 guys each episode who go on a series of dates in a room that is completely black. They can't see ANYTHING. After 3 days, each person gets to pick one person to see lit up. After they see what the chose person looks like, then they decide to either meet that person upstairs on an outdoor balcony to go on another date after the show is done or else walk out the front door. Here's what I love - when someone is waiting anxiously on the balcony for their desired mate to come out and meet them they can look right down and watch the person leave out the front door if they are not interested. So you've got this poor guy up on the balcony all excited and then you see the girl wheeling her suitcase right the hell out of there and not look back. It's so great. What's even better is watching the reactions of the people when they finally see the others in the light. They only light one person at a time, so the other is left in the dark to react and we get to watch them all mentally say, "Yeeesh!" Then they go back and shit talk with the other contestants. It's so great, just watch. Guilty, guilty pleasure. Mondays at 10!

- THIS. I have already requested one for my birthday. That is a must have item if I've ever seen one.

- Still revisiting movies from my youth from time to time, and I just watched Purple Rain. That movie? SUCKS. Oh my God. I think I'd only seen the TV edit when I was younger and I didn't remember most of it. I just remembered the lake part and clips that were in the music videos from the movie. But seriously, why is that movie so bad? Do people know this? Are they distracted by the good music? Because that is the only good thing about it. Now I love me some Morris Day, but are we supposed to believe that he is a straight man in that movie? And what purpose does Jerome serve on stage? Honestly, watch the performance of The Bird and tell me why Jerome is there. Give the guy a tambourine or something. But the acting? Oh my God. And the horrible message!!! So Prince - wait, "THE KID" - sorry, so The Kid watches his father beat the shit out of his mother all the time and then he hits his girlfriend on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION and both women stay with them? And The Kid never even apologizes? That shit is messed up. Appolonia should have stomped on his tiny ass with one of his high heels. I can't even imagine what Under the Cherry Moon is like. I don't even want to know. All I know is that this movie does not stand up at ALL. It's so bad. The music, however, does hold up. How can it not? Although I had no idea what Darling Nikki was about when I was listening to the LP in 1984. That's probably best, since I was 10. Buy the album, skip the movie.

- Tinted Windows!! The guys, or as I like to call them, "James Iha, the drummer from Cheap Trick, the guitarist from Fountains of Wayne, and Taylor Hanson on lead vocals" are doing a couple of shows this summer and one of them happened to be in Boston on Monday, so you know I was there. After the first week of indecision about some of it, the whole album completely grew on me and is just so good. They've got an 80's retro power-pop thing going on and I like it. The funny thing about seeing them live is that it looks like a bunch of dads who invited the neighborhood kid to come and sing with them while they jam. Still - they sounded really good, and it was really cool to see Mr. Iha play. As always, pictures:





You can't really see in those two pictures, but Taylor's ass was unbelievable that night. He's usually hiding it behind keyboards or not wearing jeans like this or something, but it was mesmerizing. I tried to crop it out of another picture but it still doesn't do it justice and just makes me look majorly creepy:



Maybe a video clip I took will show it off better. Taylor's looking fine, and that's James Iha to his right:



I also love the novelty of Taylor telling me that I'm his Cha Cha. I don't know what that means, but I want to be his cha cha. IF he gets rid of that stupid tiny Nonytail. Yuck.


So that's some of what's been happening here. What's been going on in your neck of the woods?

Oh, Billie Joe

Monday night I got to see Green Day again and they still rank as being one of the best live bands I have ever seen. Definitely top 3. Their shows are amazing. They played for almost 2 1/2 hours and every person in the whole arena was on their feet the entire time. Bille Joe wanted us to clap along a certain way? EVERY SINGLE PERSON was doing it. I've never seen anything like it. SO much fun. I turn into a maniac at their concerts and I have no idea why. Some little Punky Pam comes out out nowhere and I am ROCKING OUT like there's no tomorrow.

Of course, it wouldn't be me going somewhere in public if there wasn't a jackass moment. On our way in, we passed by the tour bus setup with all people posing for pictures in front of it. Everyone was standing in front of it, just smiling happily like this boy:



Aww - his parents are taking him to Green Day! Joe and I were people watching before the show and we were surprised by the mix of the crowd. There were the teeny-boppers who looked like Hot Topic threw up on them, there were the random frat guys, young couples on dates, guys who looked like they hadn't left the basement in months, creepy older guys who looked like they got lost on their way to a Quiet Riot show, sweet older couples who made us aww, and then there were quite a few parents and their kids. Most of the parents seemed to be just as much of fans as the kids, which was nice. And also made us feel old. Especially since Billie Joe has been one of my celebrity boyfriends since 1994, before many of those kids were born. Wah waah. Also? College Pam, her perm, and her love for Billie Joe broadcast in the school newspaper:



Oh my God. Someone just please shoot me now. And, as you can see, the jackassery continues because did anyone really think that I was just going to stand in front of the bus all nice like the rest of the folks?



[sigh] It's a wonder any of my friends go places with me anymore. Anyway, the tour still has a bunch of dates left, so if they come to your area I HIGHLY recommend it. And give Tour Bus Billie Joe a kiss for me!

"Nobody's Home...Nobody's Home...."

I forgot all about the whole "You've got to wait for the beep!" rap.

Bar Tuesdays: Season Four - Week Four

Week Four: Mug Shots



We headed back into Providence this week to one of Paul's college bars. We wanted to go off-season to try to capture the Lovable Locals instead of dealing with the youngsters and it turned out that the Lovable Locals were...us. Yes, we arrived at the bar at 8PM and were the only people there aside from the people working there until 3 guys came in around 10:30. What made it fun was that it was the first night that they were doing karaoke at the place so we ended up with a surprise karaoke bonus. This also meant that aside from the karaoke hosts, we were the only ones singing. Over and over and over again. It was like our own private show and it was awesome. We pulled out all kinds of random songs as well as songs we would never normally do and some we will never do again (I'm looking at you, Vibeology. Paul and I tackled that one and found out that it's not really a song and it is also quite ENDLESS.) Anyhoo, back to the bar - this was our first Bar Tuesday bar with a cover. $5?! Eh, it probably paid for the karaoke so I didn't mind. The bar itself was pretty fun inside. It was really small and it had a jail theme, complete with chain-link fences around all of the booths. We rolled VIP in the booths as usual and found them to have the smallest tables in the world:





We knocked that table all over the place. Each booth was named after a different criminal and had his newspaper articles on the wall. We sat in the Al Capone booth. We also had a special appearance by Brent's fiancee Nicole, who brought a friend along to experience his first Bar Tuesday:



Our pal Lindsey also made her return appearance to Bar Tuesdays:





It's good to have you back, girl!

Of course, you know we couldn't let those fences go to waste while there was a camera around:







When Paul looked at his picture in my camera window, he FLIPPED out over his supposed double chins. I told him that it was just the way he was posing, but he was still saddened immensely by the whole thing:



The other thing we clearly were not letting go to waste in that bar was the Mug Shot wall. We decided to pose how we would like our mug shots to look like should we ever be arrested:







As opposed to what they would probably look like:









I love how Lindsey is all glamorous in both of hers while I'm a little too happy to be picked up for hitting on a 17 year-old boy. Not that I would ever do that. (As long as they have a license it's okay, right? No? Okay, I'll shut up now...hey, is that a unicorn over there?)

In terms of the karaoke, Paul, Lindsey, Brent and I kept it going along with the hosts until those guys came in later and joined in the fun. Here's Lindsey belting out some Alicia Keys:



But once again, what good are pictures when I have short video clips? Sadly, the other patrons missed these performances. Well, sadly for Paul's Survivor and Lindsey and Paul's take on Promiscuous, but not so much on my pulling out some Little Mermaid shit. But really, how can you NOT sing a Little Mermaid song when it's in the karaoke book? It's so random that you have to do it. It may very well be required. I was just doing my civic duty, people. In any event, here are the clips:



Oh, Mug Shots - you allowed us to sing all kinds of things with no one there to listen. Thank you, and we'll be back.

And let's just all hope that none of those fake mug shots come true....

Next week: More Bar Tuesday karaoke at a bar with a name that was MADE for us. See you then!

Bar Tuesdays: Season Four - Week Three

Week Three: House of Wu & Captain's Quarters

For week three of this summer's tour we decided to honor season three's Chinese Restaurant mini-tour by doing a one night Chinese Restaurant & After Bar. Also, we heard there was a Chinese restaurant that served different flavors of scorpion bowls, so obviously we were there. Behold, the House of Wu:



There were 5 different flavors of scorpion bowls and in the end I believe the group went with the Mango, Strawberry and Blue Bay flavored bowls. The mango one had a fun name that I wish I could remember - it was something like Wu Tang Mango, but not. In any case, here they are with their giant straws:







After sampling the bowls, Bryan discovered that the mixture of the Blue Bay and Mango bowls combined to make an ultra delicious treat, which led to him drinking from both at the same time for the rest of the night, which Paul joined in shortly thereafter.



Michael and I opted for water and tea:



Or, as the menu liked the call them, the "none alcoholic drinks":



We also could have ordered "chocolates milk." Speaking of the menu, I ordered the extra person for $8.45:



I asked for a cute boy and the waitress denied my request, pointing out that I was with 5 of them myself. BOO!!!! My type of guys are the ones who are probably worth $8.45. I'm just saying, I like them poor. Anyway, the only adventures that happened at the House of Wu all took place in the bathrooms. First, I went into the ladies room which was so tiny that you had to close the door in order to open the stall door. The stall then happened to be as big as my thumb. After some acrobatic moves trying to pee in that small space, I came out to wash my hands and found this sign next to the sink:



I highlighted the part that immediately jumped out at me. ...Really? I...what...this is a mass-produced sign - are there THAT many food service workers that spend that much time with live animals that it needs to be listed on a bathroom sign? I think I'll be eating in for a little while. That sign was my excitement in the bathroom, but that's nothing compared to Paul's experience.

Sorry, Paul - I have to tell it.

Towards the end of our meal, Paul announced that he couldn't wait any longer and had to "take a House of Wu Poo." He re-emerged from the bathroom a little too soon and sat down at the table all red-faced and announced, "The cook just walked in on me taking a shit." He was MORTIFIED. Apparently, he locked the door but it still turned when the cook walked in. He said there was no stall, just a little half-wall separating the urinal from the toilet and the cook kept walking when he came in as if he was still going to pee. Then he must have noticed Paul's shocked face and just said, "Oh, so sorry," and slinked out. Paul was SO embarrassed, and we are kind people after all, so we offered our support: "Did he ask if you were almost done with the pu pu platter?" "Did he think you were the extra person I ordered?" "Did he scare the shit out of you?"

After the bathroom debacle, we decided it best to make our exit, but not before pausing outside to pose on the random God Bless America-engraved bench:



And then sweetly and inappropriately on the filthy bench in the side parking lot:





Wow, I wish I could blame some of the things that I do on alcohol. CLASSY.

After we left the House of Wu, we went down the street to a neighborhood that we thought would have some good bars. We wandered up and down the main street to where we thought some bars had been, but all we found were empty storefronts. Then, around the corner we spotted a telltale neon glow in a tiny window. It wasn't the bar we were looking for, but when we walked in, we realized it was the only one we needed. Hello, Captain's Quarters:



The bar was located below and old hotel that used to rent rooms by the hour, so you know it was our kind of place. Also, we walked in and saw these shelves on the wall:



That was all I needed to see to put my purse down and settle in. And people, Captain's Quarters was awesome. The bartender was super nice and came and sat right down with us. There were only about 3 people in the bar section and the whole game room was empty, so we went in there to take advantage of the free pool. That, and the boxing video game:



Who needs a Golden Tee when you can punch things really hard? NO ONE. Also, about four minutes after we sat down the bartender came in and said she would turn on the jukebox for us if we wanted. Lady, have you met us? Turn that shit ON. We had some interesting choices that night, ending with a rousing rendition of Private Dancer at the end of the night that had Paul, Bryan and I singing really loudly in our best Tina Turner voices and driving David and Michael outside in a "We don't know them!" frenzy. Come on guys, it's effing Private Dancer. You HAVE to. "All the men come in these places," indeed.

Before we drove them out of the bar, we spent the night playing pool, dancing our asses off, punching that video game bag, and in some cases, gambling:





I also made sure to stay far away from the men's room as it made matters QUITE clear:



I'm sorry, but do a lot of women want to use the men's room with the urinal cakes and all? Gross.
We started taking some sweet and fun pictures:





And then David grabbed the camera and the fun began. It had been a while, so it was time for a proper Bar Tuesdays photo shoot. We normally do the "What's Fun Outside The Bar?" shoots, but in this case the only thing fun outside of the bar is probably murder, so we did most of the pictures inside. So without further ado, I present to you the Captain's Quarters Photo Shoot. David got all fancy with some, like the one of my soda, but I think this is my favorite shot of the bunch:



Oh photo shoots, how I have missed you.

In the end, we had a really fun night, even if the cook did walk in on Paul taking a dump. By the time he was singing, "American Express will do nicely, thank you," he had forgotten all about it. That's the magic of Bar Tuesdays. And vodka.

See you next week!

Public Access TV Jackass: That's Me!

I have other entries to write, but no time right now so instead I thought I would share with you some clips from the public access karaoke show that Paul and I guest host. This is the one where we go shopping at thrift stores and dress like morons just to make it more fun. The first clip is from our most recent hosting gig - check out my GORGEOUS necklace - and the second is from our All-Stars show. You'll see why we called it that when you watch the clips. Let me know what you think in the comments because I've got plenty more where these came from if you want to see them. Enjoy!