Everything's More Fun In Pigtails!

Public Access TV Jackass: That's Me!

I have other entries to write, but no time right now so instead I thought I would share with you some clips from the public access karaoke show that Paul and I guest host. This is the one where we go shopping at thrift stores and dress like morons just to make it more fun. The first clip is from our most recent hosting gig - check out my GORGEOUS necklace - and the second is from our All-Stars show. You'll see why we called it that when you watch the clips. Let me know what you think in the comments because I've got plenty more where these came from if you want to see them. Enjoy!

2009 MTV Movie Awards: The Liveblog

Welcome, welcome. My, it's been a while since we've done an awards show together. Was it the Oscars? I believe so. Let's see if I can get back into the swing of things here.

So - MTV Movie Awards, aka the MTV Awards show where I actually know who almost all of the presenters and performers are. Will it be fun? Will Andy Samberg break out a laser cat? Will they ever be able to top the Lifetime Achievement Award given to Chewbacca years ago? For those of you keeping track at home, the answers to those questions are: maybe, possibly, and God no, are you kidding me? That Chewbacca thing was the greatest.

Hey, remember when Courtney Cox hosted this and she played the drums at the beginning? Am I making that up? I think that happened. Good Lord, I'm already loopy and this thing hasn't even started. Let's do this bitch - two hours with updates every ten minutes or so. Comment along with me if you'd like! And in the spirit of the subject of the awards...ACTION!

- Oh God, the screaming for Twilight has already begun and we're only a minute in. I'm already thinking of taking back what I said about this maybe being fun. That is going to win everything it's up for isn't it? Have I discussed Twilight here before? I don't think I have. Here's the thing - I haven't read the books, so I'm not as well-versed in the Twilight thing as people are. The only thing I know about it is from seeing the movie opening weekend and I hated it. I was bored, bored, bored. Jasper was hot, though. So just know that going forward. Anytime they win shit, I'm most likely rolling my eyes. Carrying on!

- Is the target audience for this show going to get this reference to The Reader? I kind of feel like young kids shouldn't see that movie for fear of them being scarred by shot after shot of Kate Winslet's creepy nips.

- Thank God Paul isn't over while Andy Samberg is telling them it's okay to fart tonight.

- MMMM, Zac Efron - maybe this won't be that bad.

- Ashley Tisdale's shoes are AMAZING. Sharpay would be so proud.

- Megan Fox is hot and all, but that hair! It looks like she just walked out of the shower. Girl, come on now. Nice Louboutins, though. Am I all about the shoes tonight or what? And say what you will, but I am very excited for the new Transformers movie.

- Am I the only one who feels like The Dark Knight happened so long ago?

- Shia kind of looks like he's going to rape someone. Sketchy.

- Poor Robert Pattinson getting screamed at everywhere he goes. You'll always be Cedric to me, Robby Boy.

- Do I really have to recap Eminem? Nah.

- Keyboard solo, J.J. Abrams! Nice.

- If Edward Cullen doesn't win breakthrough performance, I'll...eat my hat? Do people still say that? No matter, he won anyway.

- Bruno - Sasha Baron Cohen has a death wish doing that to Eminem. Oh lordy.

- Efron! Yum. What? He's 21 now.

- I enjoy the Ryan Reynolds. That's all.

- More people should have seen Wanted - that movie was fun.

- Loving the Andy Samberg song montage. Who knew Leann Rimes had it in her?

- Hayden, oh no. No. No rapping.

- Following the WTF Award, WTF is Leighton Meester wearing? Girl, take some tips from Blair.

- Miley is so annoying. Get away. ("IT"S MILEY!!)

- Commercials: Dear Danny McBride - at this point, I'll see just about anything you're in.

- Kristen Stewart is so thrilled to be everywhere. Girl, stop it. Grin and bare it. Look at Zac Efron! That should make anyone smile.

- The new Twilight clip - that werewolf looks RIDICULOUS. But hey, Jasper!

- Ben Stiller gets a big award and not ONE moment of Heavywights is shown in the clip montage? Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle, indeed.

- Keifer is looking so put-together tonight - I'm not sure I like it.

- Commercials - Sims 3 - sorry to my friends, but you may not see me for a while.

- My Sister's Keeper - I can't even watch the trailer without tearing up.

- McBride and Ferrell? Yes, please.

- Best Villain, Heath Ledger - not given out live? BOO. C'mon, that was ripe for a Cillian Murphy appearance.

- Best picture coming up, and let's not even bother with wondering what's going to win - Twilight, yo. This could have been such a HSM3 year if it weren't for those damn vampires. Now someone go and buy those kids some combs.

I guess that's it - pretty uneventful this year due to the bloodsuckers. Samberg was fun.

See you next year, y'all!

The VFW, Cable Access & Thrift Store Pants FUN

We've had a fun last couple of days, starting with karaoke at a local VFW Hall on Sunday night, which is now our New Favorite Place to go. The crowd was amazing, the drinks were cheap, our singing was much appreciated, and Paul met his new lady-love, 86 year-old spitfire Lucy:





Lucy is the greatest - she was up on the floor every time Paul sang, dancing right along with him. People, you have not lived until you've seen Paul and Lucy doing the Destiny's Child Survivor arm-pump dance together. It was pure magic. We may have also all gotten up to peform the Thriller dance when Frito busted that out. I can't wait to go again next week.

Then, Paul and I headed up to our favorite public access karaoke show last night - the hosts have been out of town for the last couple of months and the fill-in host has been sick, so Paul and I have been hosting the show for the last few weeks and it just gets more and more fun. We didn't know if last night was going to be our last night to host, so we decided to assemble a guest list of our 3 favorite guests from the past for our own personal All-Star show. As always, we went to the thrift store to find St. Patrick's Day inspired outfits and I settled on a green sweater dress while Paul upped the ante with a black and green Cosby-ish sweater and green ladies pants. He also wore a gigantic green sequined bowtie and a green Mad Hatter's hat with a blinking shamrock on it. We looked...I don't even know. Paul looked amazing, but my dress made me look like a crayon or Olive Oyl. I wore a belt with it, but it fell off during the show. We actually have that moment on video - The Professor was in the studio taking pictures and he was able to capture a video of one of our guests reprising what we have all come to know as The Greatest Performance in the show's history. When I called him and asked him to sing this song, he said he would only do it if he had someone to sing backup. I immediately offered, and thus, this event occurred (watch for the shots of Paul in his outfit, jamming out):



There are no words to describe how much I love that man. He RULES.

So yes, we're still coming down from last night's festivities, but while we recover, please do enjoy this clip of Paul after we got back to his house last night. He was having the time of his life with those ladies pants and somehow it all turned into a DEAD-ON Sally O'Malley impersonation (SNL viewers will know her as the Molly Shannon character who is 50 years old and likes to stretch and kick!):



Perfection.

(We'll try to get more clips from the public access all-stars show up soon!)

Another Example Of Why I Love Elmo

Y'all, when Elmo first hit the streets of Sesame years ago, I was all, "Who is this red Grover-wannabe trying to take over things?" I was jealous for the other muppets. I was VERY closed off to Elmo and his love of tickling. Then my blackened heart started to open a little bit to the little red lover of the third person. When he finally started showing up on talk shows and I realilzed what a ballbuster he is, I fell in love. Elmo's World with the theme of the day sung to Jingle Bells? It's genius. Still, I love off-Sesame Street Elmo the best, because that's where his ball-busting shines. When I came across this video clip online today, my love was renewed once again:



Elmo's Muppeteer deserves a zillion Emmys. Or he just needs to come and live with me all the time so Elmo and I can bitch together. Yes, I like that one even better.

American Idol: Semi-Finals Week 3 & Wild Card Round

I know this seems like it has turned into the American Idol blog around here, but I have a few other posts in the wings - they will just take more time, which I do not have right now. But I still have a whole NYC trip to jabber on about along with a few other adventures. But right now I just have a few stolen minutes to talk about my obsession with Scott, I mean to talk about this week's Idol. And lord, there is much to discuss.

First, let's start with the final group of 8 this week:

Alex Wagner-Trugman: why are you breaking my heart like that?? WHY did you have to start with that weird growling and shouting? What is that all about? You sounded so perfectly lovely outside of all of that - if you had done the whole song just plain singing it, you may have made it, kid. Aww, I will miss you.

- Why did Scott's handler/brother not look good on Tuesday but then turn on the hotness again on Wednesday and Thursday? Was his hotness in hiding? He looked like a whole other person! I'm so glad it's back, though. Keep bringing your brother on stage, mister. I'm going to be voting for the handler.

- Speaking of Scott - people, you do not even understand how much I love him. And it's not for his singing. I probably shouldn't even be talking about this, but hey. I am just utterly amused by the whole thing. He is so lovable from his awkwardness to his Air Supply see-through hair to his creepy eyes - I need Scott to stay in. His dorkiness is making me rewatch him. Plus, that handler is HOT. But Ryan, please stop talking to him like he is a retarded person. He is just blind. He was on the USA Today Academic All-Star Team, for crying out loud. Now shine the light through his hair again...YES!

- Lil Rounds = LaToya London

- Kanye West next week? NOOOOOO! I hate his ass.

Wild card thoughts:

- Why in the hell was Nick/Norman up in the room of possibility and not Mishavonna Henson or Ann Marie Boscovich???

- Jasmine? Really? No. Please swap her out with Jesse.

- Sorry, Matt - you're okay, but Ricky was ROBBED. Loved him.

- All I have to say is: ANOOP. I'll be rooting for you and Scott the whole time, but for ENTIRELY different reasons.

So what say y'all? I love me some Megan Corkrey, but she wasn't very good for her semi-final run, so here's hoping she gets better now that the show kicks into gear.

American Idol: Semi-Finals, Week Two

Sorry there were no live thoughts during the show this week, but the second half was on the same time as Lost, so we all know where my TV was tuned for that hour. Anyhoo, I'll see what I can remember about this week and as always, leave me your thoughts as well in the comments.

First, I do remember thinking, "Wow, these people are not very good." Also, a lot of the previously good ones choked BIG time (I'm looking at you, Jasmine Murray.) So what else happened?

- For starters, Adam Lambert officially became my Constantine this season, except with much more talent. But seriously you guys, I cannot take a whole season of that guy and his Mr. T jewelry and his deep and abiding love for himself. Take it down about 40 notches, Lambert. Criminy.

- Megan Joy Corkrey, what happened to you? Get it together for the wild card show, because I like you. I also hope Jesse Langseth gets a wild card shot along with my boy Anoop.

- Allison rocked, and I was so happy to see her make it.

- Hey dueling piano guy - you may have done well in Hollywood, but I still remember you kind of shitting on I Don't Want To Be during your audition, so it secretly pleased me when you murdered Coldplay this week.

- Contestants, especially ones that I like (Megan) - please stop backtalking to Simon. That will get you absolutely NOWHERE with me. No sass! (Unless you're Danny Noriega.)

- I'm not even going to go there with Mr. Gentle. Enough. That should not have even been allowed to happen. Jamal got cut for that shit? Please.

- Kris Allen, yay!

- And finally, I've been waiting two weeks for this particular end-of-the-show dance sequence to see my boy Scott MacIntyre shaking his thing and he did not disappoint. I LOVED him throwing his stick aside. I may have rewound it twice.

Anyway, what did y'all think? Does anyone find Adam as annoying as me? And is anyone else hoping that Alex gets through next week and that we finally get to see The Handler again? All I know is that I am already braced for Von Smith to start yelling at me.

American Idol Top 36: Group One

Sorry I didn't have time to weigh in on last week's Idol shenanigans, but let's get down to these semi-finalists, shall we? I'm just going to give some quick thought as I watch the show....

Jackie Tohn - Please get off of my TV IMMEDIATELY. So annoying. (P.S. It also pleases me that you sucked.)

Ricky Braddy - Who the heck is this guy? Good to see that we've seen even one second of him before the chair episode. Boy can sing, but no stage presence. Still, quite good.

- NPH! Someone please sing Freeze Ray.

Alexis Grace - Well, well. I didn't like your audition, but I'm digging you now. Well, all except for the random pink spots in your hair. No.

Brent Keith - I was pulling for you boy, but that wasn't the greatest.

- Randy - continuing to be useless. I love how he's just using things Simon has said earlier. Ugh.

Stevie Wright - Damn, that was bad. I liked her, too!

Anoop Desai - I love Anoop, that's all there is to it. He'd better make the top 12.

Casey Carlson - YIKES. Terrible, plus those awful cheesy faces! Goodbye.

Michael Sarver - Oh, Roughneck. This is his second Gavin song, and although he didn't do the greatest job with it, I still like him.

- Oh, and Paula Abdul had better back off of the Gavin.

Ann Marie Boskovich - I like her voice, even if the judges didn't love her performance. I hope she makes it through or at least gets a wild card slot.

Stephen Fowler - Rock With You? Really? That was NOT good.

Tatiana Effing Del Toro - I hate that she can actually sing pretty well. Still she should NOT have made it to the top 36.

Danny Gokey - Danny's been one of my favorites since the auditions and I'm still loving him tonight. Awesome.


My picks for making it through tonight:
Guy: Danny Gokey
Girl: Alexis Grace
Third: Anoop

Who are your predictions? Leave 'em in the comments!

AI Hollywood Week: Episodes 1 & 2

Wait, what just happened? So the Osmond and Deanna got cut, but Norman Gentle and Effing Tatiana stayed? How in the who in the what?

Okay, phew – breathing. Let’s see what else I thought about Hollywood week:

- Why were they pimping the blind guy so much and then not showing him perform at all? I wanted to see him dancing in the groups, dammit! Maybe he wasn’t shown too much because his handler wasn’t there. That handler had better come back.

- Not the Osmond, noooooo! But carry on with cutting Rose Flack.

- Thank you for keeping Alex Wagner-Trugman, my favorite closet-dwelling geek (Paul’s, too).

- On the flip side, how much more of Von Smith’s yelling in our faces are we going to have to take? Cut him already and put him on a plane with giggling Tatiana. Ugh.

- Oh, Roughneck – you are trying to win back my favor from Anoop by singing a Gavin song on Tuesday night. However, I notice that Anoop will be breaking out some My Prerogative next week, so how about I just split my love and throw you both a vote should you get to the semis? Carry on with the Gavin, though – you did me proud.

- Again, see you in the Top 4, Adam Lambert and your possible methface. In the meantime, please stop tucking your jeans into your boots. Thanks.

- Although I still like many of the contestants left, right now it’s all about Danny and his dead wife. He rules.

So what did you guys think?

AI Auditions: The Final 3 Episodes

Blessedly, auditions are over and we can finally get to the nitty gritty of Hollywood week next week. Oh, how I live for Hollywood week and the group numbers. In the meantime, here are some brief thoughts from the final week of auditions:

- The Osmond – oh, the Osmond. So good with such a sad little tale to go along with it. He has Rose Flack beat – her singing wasn’t anything to jump up and down over and she needs to put on shoes before Lucy has a heart attack over all of the barefoot people.

- Go, Megan Corkrey! She was one of the only people who made me thought that I might actually pick up a phone and call for her if she makes it to the top 12. My favorite audition.

- The first guy Jorge from Puerto Rico was pretty nice to look at, and his friend was even moreso. I can take looking at those two.

- Why can’t I remember people’s names? Was it Maria? I don’t know, but all I know is that Simon made her leave and come back as a different person and she sang Bubbly and she ruled. Fantastic voice.

Wow, these auditions these week were pretty underwhelming if that’s about all I can remember or had to say. What did you guys think?

Dear PBS & The New Version Of The Electric Company:

Nooooooo!!!! What have you done? First of all, you shouldn't be remaking The Electric Company to begin with - you just don't mess with classic shows like that. Why not just show the old ones from when I was growing up? I have the DVDs - they are still fantastic. Second of all, if you do remake such a great show, then you best be bringing your A game, which you certainly are not. I recorded an episode last week and couldn't even watch it. What's with all of the singing and poor rapping? No one wants to see that. When they finally got to a part where they were teaching about the "st" sound, it started out okay with a guy turning words into pictures, like 'stereo' and 'fast.' But then he busted out 'combust' - seriously, what child knows or needs to know what combust means? I was watching The Electric Company when I was 4, PBS - I certainly didn't need to learn about the next word, which was 'thrust.' Combust and thrust???!!! What about simpler words like stick or start or wrist? Children should and do know what those are. Thrust. Good lord. Call me when they start showing the old Electric Company again so I can watch Spider-Man and things like this:



Parents - just say no to the new! Pick up the DVDs of the old show instead. Or trip out with some Yo Gabba Gabba.