...and I guess I'm just admitting right there that I watched you. No mind, because we need to talk. Let's start again.
Dear High School Musical 2:
WHY??
And that applies to quite a few things there, mister. But first off, why aren't you and your predecessor better? I mean, I went into these things expecting...I don't know - things! What's all the hubbub about? It's not that you're bad, it's just that you're not very good, either. You're just...fluff. And a little too Disney for my tastes, but I guess I can't really complain since I'm not exactly your target demographic. I do admit that you've got some catchy tunes in both versions, and I am ALL about Ryan, so you've got that going for you. And it was much nicer to hear Zac Efron actually sing in the second one, but I'm getting off track here. We're here to talk about my problems with you. And there are quite a few.
But really, let's just get to the main one, that being Bet On It. That is the point of the movie that broke me. I would have turned it off immediately if it hadn't been for my fun game of "How Gay Can They Make Zac Efron Look?" (The result? ASTOUNDINGLY.) And let's face it, my game wouldn't have been complete without that closing number which had little Zac prancing around clad in jean capris. You know, if I'm a costume designer dressing the Alpha Male/High School Jock character, the first thing I think of has got to be manpris. Come on now. Before that trainwreck, I thought Bet On It had the game won, but I was wrong. Speaking of which, let's get back to Bet On It, shall we? Because seriously - WHY? I actually felt horror and shame for Zac Efron while watching it. What are you doing to him, Kenny Ortega? That...that...DANCING. It was ridiculous! I thought I was watching the Beat It video at points. Frito's favorite move was what he described as, "I'm so angry I'm going to pirouette now!" Totally. I was going to link to the YouTube video of the song, but I really can't listen to that song again right now, so instead I found something much, much better. Check out the awesomeness that is the Bet On It dance set to what sounds like a Spanish version of I Will Survive:
That fits it so well that it's scary. Also? Poor, poor Zac Efron. I'm so glad I saw him in Hairspray because it completely redeems any ridiculous thing that they make him do in this movie. Because seriously, did you see that choreography???
And really, Mr. High School Musical 2, I would have turned you off at that point if it hadn't been for my fun game...okay, and the fact that I was hoping for more shirtless Zac Efron scenes so I could feel even more like a Dirty Old Woman, sitting in my house alone yelling, "Zoom in!" and "No, NO, don't put the shirt on! Dammit!" Thanks for that, High School Musical 2.
[Since I'm in a good mood tonight, we won't revisit your first incarnation and my issues with the fact that they never show the titular musical in the movie. It's all, "Hey, you got the parts! Let's dance in the gym! The End!" Not even one scene?]
Next time for your big screen edition, please leave the manpris and angry pirouettes out of it. And for God's sake, please zoom in on those shirtless scenes. Thank you kindly,
Pam
Recent Comments