Sockgirlie's Blog

Pam Goes To Minnesota (And FINALLY MEETS SHELLY!)

#41: Meet Shelly.

So my list of 101 Things to do in 1001 Days may have expired 9/28/07, but I am gleefully crossing this one off of the list, even if it is quite belatedly. Good things do come to those who wait, because after being friends since March of 2003 or something crazy like that, I FINALLY got to meet my friend Shelly in person last weekend and I had the BEST time. I had tried to get out her way for her wedding in December of 2007, but plane fare was quite high at that time, so I had to sit it out. But thankfully, I decided to check plane fares on a whim a few months ago and found a great rate to Minnesota so I just decided, "I'm going to go visit Shelly!"

And that I did.

It's so funny to meet someone that you've been friends with online because in some special cases, that person knows a LOT about you. Sometimes it's easier to tell Internet pals things that you may not share all of with your home friends just because they're outside of the situation and can give you good advice or just listen and share their stories with you. And although it seems like it should be a little awkward or weird if you finally meet in person, I have found that it never is. Shelly was no exception - we fell right into our groove as if we've been hanging out for years. I mean, we virtually "hang out" through regular e-mails and sometimes on the phone, so I suppose it should come easy. Still, nothing beats kicking it in a hotel hot tub together while engaging in some good ol' fashioned girl talk. It was little moments like these that made my fun trip even better. And Shelly's husband, Todd? Totally awesome. We all just had an easy-going kickass weekend, and I thank them for taking me on a tour of the town and showing me an amazing time. And kudos to finding a FANTASTIC dive bar to hit for karaoke - it was a perfect Bar Tuesday establishment and may need to move its location up here immediately. The clientele, too. Plus, I'm forgetting to mention one of the most important things: MALL OF AMERICA. That's right, I conquered that bitch.

But what good are words when I have pictures of our adventures? There are many, so I'm going to put them all on the next page so as not to take up my whole page with pictures of me on the flume ride at the mall. Oh, yes.

Click below for the picture diary!

Yes, Please.

I have many pictures to post from last weekend's trip to FINALLY meet my friend Shelly and visit The Mall of America while I was at it, but not enough time tonight - stay tuned for that later this week. In the meantime, here are 2 things that both made me announce, "Yes, please," this weekend:

1. THIS:



There really is nothing more to say to that. Yes, please, INDEED. Damn.

2. Billie Joe looking fine-as-wine in the new Green Day video. As a bonus, I love this song as well:

Green Day - "21 Guns" - HD

Bar Tuesdays: Season Four - Week Two

Week Two: Billy's Frosted Mug



This was kind of a slow week at Bar Tuesdays. We didn't realize that Billy's was a sporty type of bar and there was a Red Sox/Yankees game on that night so the TVs were all blaring the game quite loudly and there were a bunch of guys all sitting there transfixed by the game. I told Paul that we would probably get beaten if we dared play the jukebox. I also didn't want to take pictures while we were sitting at the bar itself because I didn't want to distract everyone with the flash. Wah waah. The only weird things behind the bar that I wanted to take pictures of were a random giant fax machine and this hanging oval glass case that had some sort of winter scene in it with a little horse and carriage. It was right up close to the ceiling so I couldn't see all of what was going on, but I turned to Paul and asked, "What is up in that, St. Elsewhere?" Crickets. Ah, youth. For those of you that are Paul's age and weren't even alive then, St. Elsewhere was a TV show that took place at a hospital and it starred William Daniels, or as I like to call him, "The Voice of KITT." If you don't get that one, I want to cry. It also featured Howie Mandel in a dramatic role which I still don't really get. ANYWAY - the whole weird thing about the TV show was the last episode which revealed that the entire series took place inside of a snowglobe owned by an autistic boy. Right? And you thought you were disappointed by the Seinfeld finale. A SNOWGLOBE.

Anyway, back to the bar. I did ask the bartender if they got a lot of faxes, and he just looked over at the fax machine and answered, "Not too many anymore." Okay, then. Sadly, since I didn't take too many pictures I missed out on capturing David's mom, who was visiting from South Carolina and decided to make a Bar Tuesday stop during her trip. She came along with David and Michael, who went straight for the Keno slips in true Bar Tuesday fashion. At that time, I was locked in a tight Buzztime trivia battle with Paul, Brent and Bar Tuesday newcomer Rob.



It was all looking good going into the final showdown round, which is like final jeopardy, and then we got the category "Inventive People." Fantastic. I got the question right, but someone wagered more than me, leading to this:



Well played, Paulielicious. Here's how it all shook out at the end:



In addition to the trivia, the bar also had the ubiquitous playmaker at the end of the bar as well as an old favorite that we haven't seen in a while:



That picture is for our old pal Randy. We miss you, buddy.

(Speaking of Randy, he was up from Louisiana for a visit Memorial Day weekend and Paul and I were out with him one late afternoon and we decided to stop by one of our Season One bars for a quick drink. Sadly, the bar was closed when we got there so we just went down the street to...Hooters. I still have no idea why. Me, a gay and an everyone think is gay but isn't but feels bad for the girls. It made PERFECT sense. People, it was disgusting, and not for the Hooters factor. The place itself was just dirty - it was filthier than many of the dive bars we've gone to. Also, it REEKED of dirty ocean air. It was so nasty. And I'm only telling you all of this because Paul will love that I told the story about one of the waitresses walking by and saying, "Wow, it really smells like seafood," and one of us replying under our breath, "Then close your legs." I won't say which one said it, but we really are a classy bunch.)

Where were we? Wow, this recap is all over the place, isn't it? Tangent City up in here. The dirty Hooters story is actually a perfect segueway into the bathroom report for Billy's. When I arrived at the Frosted Mug, I was a resident of Have-To-Peetown, USA so I made my way to the ladies room after I ordered my drink and put my stuff down. When I walked into the bathroom, I was startled and let out an, "oh!" You'd think it would be the dirty sick or lack of paper towels that stopped me:



But no, it was the step-up to the toilet stalls:



WITH NO DOORS. Curtains? Really? Am I in a dressing room? People can't knock on those to see if someone's in there. What if someone doesn't see my feet due to the platform and the long curtains and just decides to whip the curtain open? I would be defenseless! (I have a long history of people walking in on me in the bathroom and am appropriately scarred from it.) The main door to the bathroom seemed to have a lock on it, but it didn't look trustworthy at all so I just ran in and held the curtain with one hand while I tried to pee as fast as I could. Of course, this was after I had to take paper out of the stall with the clogged toilet to pee in the one with no toilet paper. Ah, dive bar bathrooms - gotta love it. Paul ventured into the mens room later and reported that it was the same setup with the stalls except that there were no curtains. Good lord.

On the plus side, the bar did have computer chairs instead of stools:



That was fun to swivel and roll around in those at the bar. And they certainly beat the stools that were at the high top tables in the pool/dart room:



Now there are some Bar Tuesday seats. Even so, the bar fell kind of flat for us - it had a few interesting aspects, but nothing spectacular. Paul had been there one time before and there was a dog behind the bar, so we were hoping for something fun like that, but all we got was a Red Sox game and some die-hard fans. Cue the Price is Right horns of defeat.

Next week: we have a week off, but then we'll be back with all new bars, including one that is a barn. Oh, yes. See you then!

Addiction + Mildly Disturbing Karaoke

So, if anyone has been wondering where I've been lately instead of updating here, the answer is simple: in front of my laptop. And why is that? Oh, we all should know this by now. It's because this just came out:



I'm still on the fence about how I feel about it. I like some things, and some I don't. Either way, I'm spending a lot of time discovering how I feel about it. In fact, this is what anyone would see when walking by my room the past few days:



In my defense, that's only when I was home. I did leave the house to go out and do things. Of course, the minute I got home I was firing up that laptop. But really, all the new style/color customization takes time to make my house look quite Pam-like! And who just joined my household as my new hubby? Who else?



I had two other boyfriends first, but he kept coming over and whipping out a guitar and playing for me. My Sim is not made of stone, people. She, much like her human counterpart, is a sucker for a musician. He should watch his back, though, because my ex-Sim boyfriend Chris Hardwick keeps calling and coming over to use my computer. I think there's still a little torch there, we'll see.

Oh my God, I have no life.

Well, I have an exciting Sims one! Vicarious living never hurt a soul!

Speaking of which, I should get back to it. In the meantime, do enjoy this video of Paul dirty dancing up on his 85 year-old girlfriend from the local VFW karaoke night. WARNING: It is a bit creepy:



Oh, Paul. Every week that woman comes just to dance with Paul - she even carries his picture around in her purse, showing people her "young, tall, handsome gigolo." Aww. Okay, maybe it's not that creepy now. Sweet. Just no grinding on the woman, Paul!

Bar Tuesdays: Season Four - Week One

"This drink tastes like my asshole with caffeine."

And with that statement made by Paul last night, Bar Tuesdays was back.

Since we only went to 3 bars during the winter break, we're going to just call those 3 bars Season 3 1/2 and make this summer the official season four. This time we're going statewide, so expect some new and interesting places. Of course, the more things may change, the more they stay the same as I started off the season last night just like I did in Season 1: dancing with a man with 8 teeth in his head - but we'll get to that. First things first:

Week One: Muldowney's Pub



We started things off this season in Providence at this little hole-in-the-wall Irish bar downtown. Paul and I walked in and sat down just as an impromptu dance party erupted in the corner, with the owner lifting up his shirt and everything. Paul and I just turned to each other and were all, "Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays!"



Paul and I settled into the bar and checked out the scenery as we waited for the others to arrive. Paul: "Maximum capacity 65 people? I've been to house parties bigger than that." A few minutes after we arrived, Paul nudged me and told me to check out a David Cross look-a-like at the bar who was staring at us and looking like he was going to fall asleep. I looked over and saw this completely obliterated guy trying to focus his eyes and smiling away as they kept trying to close. Just then, he got up and stumbled over to us. He smiled and introduced himself to Paul and started saying things that mde no sense. Then he shook my hand and then turned back to Paul and blurted out, "You're cute," and then ran away, giggling. Paul: "I gotta go." It was very sweet.

I had just about finished teasing Paul about his new boyfriend when this person walked in and stood right next to me at the end of the bar and stared at the bartender until the bartender looked up and immediately said, "No! You're not allowed in here anymore. Go."

The person just sneered and shouted back, "That's because last time I was here you were too busy stuffing your face instead of serving me drinks!" Oh, and the "serving me drinks" portion was said along with a finger tapping the bar. It was awesome. The angry person finally left and I heard another patron say that she was gone, which made me turn to Paul and remark, "Wait, that was a woman?" Paul just nodded and said, "We've only been here ten minutes and all of this has already happened." Just then, a homeless person came to the door and stuck his head in and smiled and waved and then just backed out and continued off down the street. This place was amazing.

Throughout the next half hour or so there continued to be brief impromptu dance breakouts, mostly between a guy who was sitting near us who would grab a woman from the other end of the bar and just dance it out. They all seemed to be the Lovable Local regulars that we love so much. Dancer Guy spent most of the rest of the time just singing his heart out to every song that came on the jukebox. At one point, he turned to me and stated, "I love your hair. It's the same color as my daughter's." Then he held onto his heart and swayed. I asked him how old his daughter was and then he launched into Dancer Guy's Life Story, which included the part about him being a twin and being born with a hole in his face. Apparently, he was missing a nose and mouth and all of that important stuff and was in the hospital until he was two years old having all kinds of reconstructive surgery and recovering. He said there are articles about him in the New England Journal of Medicine, which I now need to check out. We heard about his kids and his childhood and his teen years and how he used to have millions but quit to do something else and now has nothing. Oh, but he loved to dance. I was all into the stories - this is what Bar Tuesday is all about! After a little while, the music kicked up loud and Dancer Guy went outside to smoke so Story Time was over. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the group arrived to kick things off all proper:



As usual, Michael went straight for the lotto machines:





I was busy showing the boys my new shoes when Brown Eyed Girl started up on the jukebox. That's when the magic happened. But first, the shoes:



What a great place to wear them for the first time. Anyway, as soon as the song started, Dancing Guy jumped up and yelled, "Yes! I love this song!" Then he came over to me and held out his hand and asked me to dance. How could I say no? Hence, this:



I love Paul's reaction to seeing all of this as he emerged from the bathroom:



Of course, I don't know how I didn't notice this, but I guess Dancing Guy was being Grab Himself guy while we danced:



Yikes. That totally proves the statement that I made to Paul earlier in the evening: "How is it that WE are the classy people in this place? How does that. happen?" So true.

Thankfully, I think the crotch grabbing was just part of the dancing since Paul was outside a few minutes after that and Dancing Guy turned to him and said, "I don't know what you're about, but I think you're a doll."

Paul, the Belle of the Bar Tuesday Ball. I asked Paul if he told him that he was about the ladies, but he said he just thanked him. Then Paul made another bathroom stop after which he came out showing me a camera phone picture of the toilet, complete with duct tape all over the lid. Welcome back to Bar Tuesdays, indeed.

Next week: a bar that reportedly has computer chairs instead of stools. Also? A crew member brings his mom. See you then!

2009 MTV Movie Awards: The Liveblog

Welcome, welcome. My, it's been a while since we've done an awards show together. Was it the Oscars? I believe so. Let's see if I can get back into the swing of things here.

So - MTV Movie Awards, aka the MTV Awards show where I actually know who almost all of the presenters and performers are. Will it be fun? Will Andy Samberg break out a laser cat? Will they ever be able to top the Lifetime Achievement Award given to Chewbacca years ago? For those of you keeping track at home, the answers to those questions are: maybe, possibly, and God no, are you kidding me? That Chewbacca thing was the greatest.

Hey, remember when Courtney Cox hosted this and she played the drums at the beginning? Am I making that up? I think that happened. Good Lord, I'm already loopy and this thing hasn't even started. Let's do this bitch - two hours with updates every ten minutes or so. Comment along with me if you'd like! And in the spirit of the subject of the awards...ACTION!

- Oh God, the screaming for Twilight has already begun and we're only a minute in. I'm already thinking of taking back what I said about this maybe being fun. That is going to win everything it's up for isn't it? Have I discussed Twilight here before? I don't think I have. Here's the thing - I haven't read the books, so I'm not as well-versed in the Twilight thing as people are. The only thing I know about it is from seeing the movie opening weekend and I hated it. I was bored, bored, bored. Jasper was hot, though. So just know that going forward. Anytime they win shit, I'm most likely rolling my eyes. Carrying on!

- Is the target audience for this show going to get this reference to The Reader? I kind of feel like young kids shouldn't see that movie for fear of them being scarred by shot after shot of Kate Winslet's creepy nips.

- Thank God Paul isn't over while Andy Samberg is telling them it's okay to fart tonight.

- MMMM, Zac Efron - maybe this won't be that bad.

- Ashley Tisdale's shoes are AMAZING. Sharpay would be so proud.

- Megan Fox is hot and all, but that hair! It looks like she just walked out of the shower. Girl, come on now. Nice Louboutins, though. Am I all about the shoes tonight or what? And say what you will, but I am very excited for the new Transformers movie.

- Am I the only one who feels like The Dark Knight happened so long ago?

- Shia kind of looks like he's going to rape someone. Sketchy.

- Poor Robert Pattinson getting screamed at everywhere he goes. You'll always be Cedric to me, Robby Boy.

- Do I really have to recap Eminem? Nah.

- Keyboard solo, J.J. Abrams! Nice.

- If Edward Cullen doesn't win breakthrough performance, I'll...eat my hat? Do people still say that? No matter, he won anyway.

- Bruno - Sasha Baron Cohen has a death wish doing that to Eminem. Oh lordy.

- Efron! Yum. What? He's 21 now.

- I enjoy the Ryan Reynolds. That's all.

- More people should have seen Wanted - that movie was fun.

- Loving the Andy Samberg song montage. Who knew Leann Rimes had it in her?

- Hayden, oh no. No. No rapping.

- Following the WTF Award, WTF is Leighton Meester wearing? Girl, take some tips from Blair.

- Miley is so annoying. Get away. ("IT"S MILEY!!)

- Commercials: Dear Danny McBride - at this point, I'll see just about anything you're in.

- Kristen Stewart is so thrilled to be everywhere. Girl, stop it. Grin and bare it. Look at Zac Efron! That should make anyone smile.

- The new Twilight clip - that werewolf looks RIDICULOUS. But hey, Jasper!

- Ben Stiller gets a big award and not ONE moment of Heavywights is shown in the clip montage? Lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle, indeed.

- Keifer is looking so put-together tonight - I'm not sure I like it.

- Commercials - Sims 3 - sorry to my friends, but you may not see me for a while.

- My Sister's Keeper - I can't even watch the trailer without tearing up.

- McBride and Ferrell? Yes, please.

- Best Villain, Heath Ledger - not given out live? BOO. C'mon, that was ripe for a Cillian Murphy appearance.

- Best picture coming up, and let's not even bother with wondering what's going to win - Twilight, yo. This could have been such a HSM3 year if it weren't for those damn vampires. Now someone go and buy those kids some combs.

I guess that's it - pretty uneventful this year due to the bloodsuckers. Samberg was fun.

See you next year, y'all!

Dear Boston....

Dear Boston:

WTF is up with this fountain statue that you have displayed in the middle of a giant public garden in Beantown?



The Professor and I sat on a bench near it the other day and were so disturbed. "Who posed for that?" Of course, we were so disturbed by it that we had to sit there and watch little kids run up to it and touch it. Thanks, Boston. Now we are disturbed creeps. Gross.

Still Weirded Out,

Pam

Miss, Please Stop Petting The Shoes

Ladies who love shoes - I have a warning for you. Remember when I was obsessing over a few pairs of Christian Louboutin shoes a couple of months ago? Well, even with what the price tag may say, those obsessions don't go away very quickly. They simmer and stew. Then you think, "How can I get some money?" But then you put it out of your head. So silly. But then you start thinking about the shoes again and picturing them in your head with every outfit you own. So then your thoughts turn to: "How do I get these out of my head? I know, I'll go try them on and they'll be uncomfortable and then I won't want them anymore. I probably won't even like them."

This is how my mind works, people. I KNOW.

Anyway, so I decided to go with option #2 with the added caveat being that in the off chance that I even remotely liked the shoes, then I would look into how to get some extra money and start a Shoe Fund to save up for them. It was all such a good plan. In my head, at least.

Ladies, let me tell you something - this is NOT a good plan. I headed over to Barneys yesterday just to look at the shoes. "Let's just go look at them, I've never seen them in person," I said. So we went and I was very happy that we went to a mini Barneys because they didn't have a full shoe department. They had some, but not the exact pair that I had my eyes on. They did have my second favorite pair, and they are BADASS but I had already decided that I would never get open-toed ones because I can't wear them in the winter without freezing my toes off or looking like a moron if I wore nylons with them. Oh, but they were pretty. So, so pretty. I was literally petting them in the store. I don't know how they didn't ask me to leave. I was just standing there, cradling one in my arms like a baby and petting it. Eventually a salesperson came around and asked if I wanted to try anything on. I knew they ran crazy small, so I thought I would just try some on to see what size I would even wear. THANKFULLY they didn't have the ones I was petting in my size, but they had another pair so I tried them on and they were teeny tiny. I normally wear a 9 1/2 or 10 in dress shoes and my toes were bent up on the size 10s, so that was discouraging. The salesman told me that they didn't carry anything larger in that store, but that their larger store downtown may. I was all, "Larger store downtown?" The Professor looked at me and shrugged and said, "We're already down here, do you want to go look at them?"

Yes, yes I did.

So off we went to the Boston store and we walked into the shoe department and it was like Angels singing. So many Louboutins! So pretty! Want to pet them all! I was doing well looking at all of them because I didn't see the Target Pair. I was all set to just pet and leave, but then my eye caught something and I gasped. There they were. I went over and gently placed them in my hand, saying hello as if I was talking to a wounded bird. When the saleswoman came over (a bit warily, probably because of my creepdom), she asked if I needed help. When I asked if they came in any size larger than a 10, she just shook her head and said probably not. She said that anything bigger was hard to come by and may only be available online. Oh, the defeat. I just wanted to look at them on my feet and pet them. The saleswoman must have felt bad looking at my defeated face, because she humored me and said she would check the back just in case. I took The Professor over to look at another badass pair of shoes when I saw her returning, but not with empty hands. It was a box. And in it were size 11 shoes in the style I have been lusting over for months.

People, you don't even know. I was nervous and sweating trying them on. So delicate! So pretty! So...oh my God, why did I walk over to the mirror because these are officially the greatest shoes that have ever been on my feet. Holy shit. Now I will obsess. The Professor was all like, "Damn. Those are hot." Then the saleswoman dropped this on me: "Those actually just went on sale today, 40% off." Me: "Do you take Visa?"

KA-CHING!





And finally, behold:



I want to sleep with them in my arms every night.

So ladies, what is the lesson here? Unless you're carrying a wad of cash with you or are prepared to actually buy the shoes, DO NOT go and "just look" at them. Just looking is a gateway drug. It leads to petting. Heavy, heavy petting, which then leads to, "Well, let me just try them on." That only leads to putting those things on your feet which ultimately leads to instant love and obsession. Then your only thought is, "Well now I can't leave these here." Know what you're up against! You will be powerless!

But seriously, did you see those shoes?

Seriously, Topshop and NYC- Just Take My Whole Wallet

The Professor and I headed to NYC over the weekend for a little getaway to the city. I watch Chelsea Lately every night and have developed a deep affinity for some of the roundtable regulars. One of my favorites is Jo Koy, and I liked him even more after watching his Comedy Central special a couple of months ago. It's been years since I've watched a stand-up special, and that had me laughing my ass off. Anyway, last month Jo was on Chelsea and she announced that he would be playing some shows in NYC, so I immediately got on that shit. The Professor loves the city, so he wasn't hard to convince to go along with me. I believe the conversation went like this:

PAM: Do you want to go to New York with me next month to se...

THE PROFESSOR: YES.

PAM: ...a comedy show?

The Professor had never seen Jo Koy before, but thankfully he thought he was funny and had a great time. And let me just say this - Jo Koy is even funnier live. His special was funny, but his stand-up show last week was drop-dead hilarious. He was only supposed to do a 55 minute set but ended up doing an hour and forty-five minutes. Sorry, people waiting for the second show! Also? I don't think I stopped laughing for more than 30 seconds the whole time. His stand-up DVD comes out on Tuesday - you should check it out. He's also very nice and friendly. Before the show, he just walked right through the showroom to get to the backstage area. I think I was the only one who even noticed him (and was more excited about it then I should have been. I may watch a little too much Chelsea, y'all.). After the show, he waited in the lobby to say hello and take pictures and everything. Here we are:





After the show, The Professor and I headed to do a little karaoke and then we ended the night at The National Underground, as is tradition.



Most of the regulars weren't around, but the most fun one was:



Oh, Sasha.

Sunday morning we were just going to make two stops before heading home, Magnolia Bakery and Topshop. We had gone to teany and Toy Tokyo the day before, so I had my monkey-picked tea from teany and I had some new robots from Toy Tokyo. ROBOTS! Do y'all know how much I love robots? I saw this case and gasped:



Then, of course, I stared longingly at them all like the creep that I am:



Anyhoo, since Topshop finally just opened their first store here in the US, I wanted to make a stop there just to see what all of the hullabaloo was about. Turns out the hullabaloo is all correct: Topshop is AWESOME.



Four floors of magic. I didn't even get to look at half of the clothes because I was so overwhelmed by it all. I did, however, get to drool over all of the shoes. They were insane. I wanted so many! In the end, I ended up with this pair of badass mofos. I can't wait to wear them.

The other evil part about Topshop is its location: right in the heart of SoHo's shopping haven. We ended up walking up and down two blocks and going in SO many stores (and buying SO many things). My wallet behaved at the Scholastic store, but we still played around:







It was all just so insane. My credit card was on fire, and I didn't even buy a lot of the things that I wanted. I've already talked Lucy into going back with me. Maybe she can help me control my shopping. It's evil there!

Ah, screw it - it was FUN. I can't wait to go back.

All Eyes On Me In The Center Of The Ring, Just Like A Circus....

Oh, how I love the circus.

It's that time of year again when Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey come to town, so I wrangled up some folks to go along with me so I could be creepy with the clowns. The last time I went two years ago I used a friend with kids so I could tag along, but this time I found people who were more than willing to go, so The Professor, Paul, Lindsey and I headed to the Big Top. We asked several other people to go, but they all thought we were creepy or weren't into the circus. Who isn't into the circus? My brother thought we would look like pedophiles if we didn't have kids with us, but there were other non-children groups there. He's crazy. Plus, having Paul with us was like having a 5 year-old since he hadn't been to the circus since the 2nd grade and was amazed by everything. All I know is that he needs to come with me every time because it was hilarious listening to him get all worked up and scared while the performers were doing their things. Here's a sampling of what he was saying:

"Sir, that does not look safe."

"Friend, watch out...oh no! Why is he attempting that? Friend, you're going to get hurt! I can't look."

"This is quite entertaining."

(grabbing my arm during a crazy drum roll) "Something is about to happen and I'm scared."

"Oh, you just wait until that tiger bites off your arm - then who will be laughing?"

"YEAH ELEPHANTS!! Nice work by them, huh? Holla, elephants!"

"Sir, please come down from there."

Most of us also ate like 5 year-olds. The Professor bought some cotton candy that came with a fun little wizard hat:





Paul went hog wild with popcorn, peanuts, and a smores stick. Me? I am ALL about the snow cones, my friends. They didn't have a clown cup this year (sadness!) so I opted for the elephant one:



I love this picture that The Professor secretly took because I look like a giddy little kid:



That's what the circus is all about, my friends.

Well, that and THE CLOWNS. As always, I made everyone go to the pre-show so we could meet some of the clowns and get our free noses:



While Paul and Lindsey were off looking at an elephant do artwork (yawn!), I was staking out my future husband. That's him in the green on the right:



Swoon!

Sadly, he finished up his act right before showtime so I wasn't able to meet him. I did get a picture with his co-hort earlier, who was funny as hell:



He was stealing people's purses and cameras. Gotta love a ball-busting clown. Also, gotta love The Professor who proclaimed at one point during the show, "I'm in love with that girl clown." And that, my friends, is another reason why he is my boyfriend.

Anyhoo, so we all had a great time and highly recommend this new red tour, the Zing Zang Zoom show. It has people being shot out of cannons, people. What more can you ask for? If you do go, please take Paul so he can give props to the elephants and the dogs again. And every time the Ringmaster asks the crowd to yell the magic words, Paul is shouting, "Zing! Zang! Zoom!" at the top of his lungs. Oh, who am I kidding? I was doing it with him. The circus rules. It's fun to be 5 again for a couple of hours. Try it.